Falling Together
by mende5525
Summary: It started with four different people, all with different needs and wants. Sometimes what we really need and want most...isn't clear, even if it's right in front of us. DxC and GxT Love square
1. Prologue

A/N: Before anyone says anything I just want to say that I am still a purely DxC shipper and supporter and always will be. But I do really enjoy love triangle and love squares because I think it really challenges the relationship and actually makes it much stronger. I am not a DxG supporter, but I can understand where the fans of this pairing are coming from and I do not hate them for it.

Duncan and Gwen are compatible for each other and even Trent and Courtney have possibilities. I do believe it is possible for people to love more than one person and be conflicted throughout it all. I personally think it makes good drama for any show. Many people have been discussing the possibility of a love triangle between Duncan, Courtney and Gwen.

I think it's a good thing to allow. First, it will challenge DxC and make their relationship stronger. Gwen will be allowed to further explore her feelings, therefore making her character better and stronger, and there is already said to be a season 4. I strongly feel that by season 4 Trent and Gwen will be together again because they will have had time to grow and realize they belong together after all.

So yes I do support DxC and TxG, but I am open minded to possibilities and want to explore them through this story. So please no flames and no haters. I have nothing against DxG fans and am not trying to offend my DxC fans. I'm just being open to possibilities and situations.

Love you all!

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**Falling Together **

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_-Prologue-_

"So we're finally alone…"

She quickly jumps away from me looking pissed as hell, but it only makes me want her more.

"Damn it, why are you doing this?" She yells at me crossing her arms uncomfortably.

"Doing what?" I ask innocently. I really just wanted to see her again, but I know she already knows that I want much more.

She throws up her arms and shakes her head. She almost looks close to tears, I can't blame her. I've already put her through a lot and here I am asking for more. Why can't I just let it go?

"I am not playing this game anymore, I'm not with you anymore, I'm with _him_ now!" She says violently.

Before I stop myself I'm getting up and kissing her. She's fighting me, she refuses to kiss back, but just as I'm pulling away I feel her respond back for one hopeful second. It seems as if she's finally choosing me, but she pulls away and slaps me hard.

She looks up at me with tears rolling down her face. She's actually trembling, I know there's something there, but I seriously think I might've lost it all together.

"Please leave."

I come close to pleading with her to come with me, but she brings up _her_ name. "You really should go back to her," she says pointing at the door.

I know I've lost, he has her now and I suddenly feel like the lesser man. I don't know when I screwed up this badly or how I altogether found myself in love with two very different people. It seems like all four of us just found ourselves this way, and it's breaking us apart in so many directions, it's hard to even say who really won the battle. Sometimes I think we're still fighting it.

Sometimes I wonder when it really started… And how I made the wrong decision?

_"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end." - Benjamin Disraeli_

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A/N: Left out names for very good reason, don't want anyone putting blame on any of the characters yet. Stay tuned for the next chapter where we get to see the real beginning of this complicated love square. Review!


	2. Chapter 1: First Love

A/N: This takes place after TDA. There will be no musical or world tour. This will be similar to the celebrity manhunt special, only Trent and Gwen will be closer than portrayed on the show. Enjoy!

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Chapter 1: First Love

_Excuse me first love but we're through_

_I need to taste the kiss from someone new_

_Forgive me first love but I'm too tired_

_I'm bored to say the least and I lack desire_

_Forgive me first love_

**Duncan POV**

I'm so sick and tired of this.

I'm trying not to be mad at her, but I really can't help it.

I really thought things between me and Courtney were going well. We've been having a blast with the money, just being stupid and careless. We've been hot and heavy in the bedroom. Hell I'm so in love with this girl I went and got a tattoo with her!

I keep telling myself Courtney cares about me as much as I do her, it's not like she's the type of girl to go and get a tattoo with any guy.

But honestly I'm just not so sure about this whole relationship anymore.

I've loved Courtney for a while now, she's probably the only girl I've loved. I've had lust for girls, friendship with girls, but never love or romance.

I can't lie though, sometimes I want to escape it all together.

Yesterday I took Courtney out to dinner…it was our anniversary. I feel like such an ass for even bothering to remember. The whole time Courtney was on her PDA which was getting me more and more pissed off by the moment.

It's always been something I love and hate most about her. She's always chasing after success, but sometimes I feel she's running so fast she's leaving me behind. At the restaurant I finally snapped. I yelled at her like I normally do and she did the same. Only it wasn't our regular arguing, this time we actually fought! Before either one of us knew it, the yelling turned into screaming, followed by food being thrown all over the place.

I swear for all the strength I hold, I can turn into a complete asshole when I'm with her. As happy as she makes me, she also gets me miserable sometimes.

"You want to break up with me."

I glance up at her. I just realized she didn't ask a question, she made a statement.

**Courtney POV**

I've been denying it for some time, but things between Duncan and I seem to be drying up. I felt as though it were just yesterday when I went to the tattoo parlor with him and got the heart on my arm.

I got it there specifically for everyone to see, to see how much I cared about this juvenile criminal.

A couple nights ago Duncan actually took me to a fancy dinner, for reasons I still don't know, and started yelling at me for being on my PDA. I was only trying to send an e-mail to my lawyer, I hadn't planned on spending all my time on it, but apparently it was enough for Duncan to act like a child and actually start screaming.

Duncan can be cross and crude at times, but I've never seen him like that before. This time he had been genuinely angry at me and went out of his way to show his rage by starting a food fight!

Even now when I play that scene over in my head it makes my heart ache. I'm really worried that he's trying to find a way to break up with me. Things between us have been hostile, more hostile than usual.

We don't even have fun anymore, it's more like we're just dealing with each other now. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.

"I said you want to break up with me, don't you?"

Duncan gives me a dirty look before replying, "Did I say that? Have you ever heard me say that once?"

"You don't say anything to me anymore," I answer sadly. I hate that my voice keeps cracking, but I need to get this off my chest.

"I don't say anything because it always turns into an argument with you. You always have to make it sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about." Duncan's voice is slowly getting louder.

I try to keep mine low, I don't want to start another screaming match. "I don't mean to be condescending, I just…." I just what? I don't know why I always feel the need to start something with Duncan, but for some reason it makes me feel a little better. Am I just one of those girls who have to put people down in order to feel good? God, suddenly I feel guilty.

"You just can't help yourself," Duncan finishes for me.

I can't say anything, my throat in tight and my mouth is dry. Duncan pulls out a cigarette and light it up. He seems to be smoking more than usual lately.

I'm not going to let this be the end of everything. We've fought dozens of times before, why should this time be any different?

I slowly make my way up to him, he doesn't even glance at me as he continues to smoke his cigarette. I suddenly feel needy for him, like I need him to notice me.

I place myself in his lap without his permission or approval. I feel his body tense up and it's enough to make want to get off, but I remain where I am. I need him to forget about this.

**Duncan POV**

She's trying to make me forget.

I keep letting her sit in my lap, but I don't wrap my arms around her or anything. I just ignore her presence as best I can and start to daydream.

When I use to daydream and reminisce about good times it used to be about us. I use to think about our time together on that stupid reality show and how fun it was to provoke her and tease her. How much she use to deny her feelings about me and how fun it was getting her to admit she liked me and wanted to break a couple of rules.

Even on TDA when she accused me of cheating I still liked her. Courtney's crazy and strong personality always drew me close to her, but now it just drives me away.

Now when I daydream I start to wonder what it would be like if I hadn't ever fallen for her.

It's nothing drastic really. Usually I end up leaving the same way I came in, broke and bored and just dyeing to get off that island. Somehow things are less complicated though, I'm not constantly worried about her, or trying to have a relationship, or feeling trapped.

Maybe all I need is to get away for a while; maybe I just need something new, something Courtney can't give me.

I love her…but it's not enough anymore.

**Courtney POV**

I feel distant from him.

I've never felt distant from Duncan, even when we were first starting out I always felt close to him. Arguing alone made me feel closer to him than I expected, but now the arguing is making me bitter and resentful towards him.

I don't want Duncan to leave, but at the same time I need him to leave me alone. I want too many things in my life right now and he's only distracting me. I have too many goals I need to accomplish before it's too late.

As much as our relationship means to me, it's sadly the last thing I'm focused on.

Perhaps…

"We need a break."

He doesn't argue with me. He nods almost immediately, and I start to wonder why I didn't think of this sooner. I really hope he still wants me after all of this, 'cause I know I'll still want him.

_"First love is dangerous only when it is also the last." - __Branislav_


	3. Chapter 2: Stay

A/N: I'm sorry if I don't portray Trent's character well, he's not my most favorite character so I may get it wrong from time to time, but here you go…

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Chapter 2: Stay

_Something must have made you so mad_

_What can I do to make you say come back to me?_

**Trent POV**

It's crazy to think that I've made it. I've actually made it in the music business working beside some of my friends. The Drama Brothers have become more famous and successful than I imagined. What's even crazier is all the attention we've gotten from the fans, especially the girls.

I can't help but turn a little dumb when I'm around a bunch of girls begging for my attention, any guy would love it. But each time I try to hook up with anyone, I always seem to end up dumping them. I don't mean to come off so mean, but I'm just not finding anyone that interesting.

I suppose it doesn't help that I've been talking to Gwen again.

I just can't get over her. Even with all the constant attention I'm getting from so many people, my mind is constantly occupied with thoughts of Gwen. I still really like her and want to try to make things work, but sometimes I think she doesn't want to be more than just friends.

I hope these attempts of taking her out and finally acting normal will get her to reconsider, I still can't believe I messed it up to begin with.

I really hate to admit it, but Duncan was a huge threat to me. He just seemed to be one of those guys who could have any girl he wanted, and who wouldn't want Gwen? I tried to remind myself that he had Courtney, but Courtney wasn't there during season two of the show and as much as I'd hate to say this, Courtney could be unbearable half of the time.

It's strange to think about Courtney, I got to know her a little on the Aftermath show, only because she insisted. The whole time she complained about Gwen and how she had taken Duncan away from her. I still had a heart for Gwen so I wouldn't say anything about it, I just let Courtney say what she needed to say because she needed someone to listen.

Courtney's someone who demands attention because she needs it. I figured I should be the person to give her that attention since no one else would, I certainly understood how she felt slightly betrayed in her relationship with Duncan, and so I just sort of put myself in the position of being her only friend on the Aftermath show.

As crazy as Courtney was, she actually rubbed off on me a little and I couldn't help but like her a bit. I could actually see what Duncan saw in her, slightly insane but very passionate and unpredictable.

I had better stop thinking about Courtney now that Gwen has shown up. She still looks as gorgeous as the first time I saw her, and I always get excited when she comes to visit me in the recording studio.

Lately I've been trying to write songs for her, but the weird thing is….I always find myself thinking about Courtney and end up writing a song based around her. It has nothing to do with romance as much as it does craziness.

Sometimes I wonder if all four of us can just put this whole ugly mess behind us and be friends. I know Gwen is still tight with Duncan, and I actually wouldn't mind seeing Courtney again.

**Gwen POV**

He's really deep in thought, he must be trying to think up some new lyrics.

I punch him lightly in the arm and say, "What's up?"

Trent shakes his head and smiles at me. "Nothing, how have you been?"

I've been confused and worried. "I'm fine Trent. I'm actually surprised you're doing so well, it must be tough having the Drama Brothers breaking up."

Trent shrugs it off dismissively. "It's no big deal, I knew it was coming sooner or later, besides all that fame and glory was getting to my head."

I can't argue with him there. For a while I was actually growing worried that Trent was turning into a jerk with all the crazy girl attention he had been receiving. But since we've been talking again I've noticed his old self returning.

"Besides," adds Trent, "I finally have spare time to spend with you."

This is what has had me confused and worried lately. I think Trent really wants to start up a relationship with me again, but I'm just not sure about that. Last time Trent lost his mind I had fully convinced myself that it was my fault. If it hadn't been for Duncan I'd still be trapped in that guilt.

Staying in touch with Duncan has been difficult with Courtney back in his life. I still think he can do better than her, Trent once told me about how he and Courtney became friends on the Aftermath, I swear some of his songs even remind me of her a little. But despite all that I really just want to see Duncan again.

I realize I've started daydreaming as Trent looks at me waiting for a response. I wish I had one but I honestly don't. I can't help but miss Trent, he was technically my first real boyfriend. I use to be able to tell him anything and feel completely at ease. He was nice and caring, he actually made me feel something that i never felt with anyone else. But at the same time I have to tink about what is best for me and him, just because we miss each other doesn't mean we should get back together.

He has his music and I have... I don't know what I have, but i don't think i should use him just because i want something in my life right now.

"Trent…. I love spending time with you, I really do…but…."

I can't even bring myself to say it, and I really don't need to. The hurt expression on Trent's face says it all, he understands that this isn't the time or place to restart a romance.

"It's ok Gwen," Trent replies calmly. "I've got all the time in the world."

Despite his confidence, I'm afraid time just won't be enough for either of us.

_"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it,_

_and it darts away." - __Dorothy Parker_

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A/N: Now the stage is set for future drama and occurrences. As you can tell this is going to be like playlist story with songs I figured would fir each chapter. I already have the whole playlist planned out; this story will be about 30 chapters long! So please review and be kind.


	4. Chapter 3: Everything Changes

Chapter 3: Everything Changes

_If you just walked away__  
__What could I really say?__  
__Would it matter anyway?__  
__Would it change how you feel?__  
_

**Courtney POV**

My playing has gotten pathetic. Lately I've been turning to my violin more and more, I like the whining sounds the strings create. Duncan used to say it suited my perfectly because all I ever did was whine and whine. I smile to myself remembering that.

It's funny that Duncan and I never actually collaborated our musical creativity together. He's actually a decent guitar player when he tries, but then why should I expect him to try anything? It's always me who's working my ass off and killing myself each day while he sits back and lazily watches. He won his million dollars; I'm still working for mine. He's gotten a free ride from that stupid reality show, what have I gotten? Nothing.

*SNAP*

One of the strings to my violin has broken into an ugly curl that is mocking me and my lack of everything. I feel like I'm losing Duncan and all of a sudden I'm losing all my ability to do anything else correctly. My relationship is a wreck, just like my violin.

A sudden wave of heat comes over me and in one angry sweep I throw my violin down with all my strength and watch it smash into pieces. I can't stop breathing heavily as the silence from the crash settles in and I realize just how childish and stupid that was. Now I just feel like crying. I just broke my violin.

"Courtney?"

I nearly jump out of my skin as someone's hand comes down on my shoulder. I spin around so quickly I almost don't recognize Trent as he looks down worriedly on me. I'm honestly glad it's him and not Duncan, but what in the world is Trent doing here in the first place?

**Trent POV **

I can't believe it's her, like literally I can't believe it's her! She looks so… depressed. I've seen tons of emotions from Courtney: rage, anger, happiness, eagerness, jealousy, but never depression.

It's odd, so odd I don't even know what to say to her as she continues to pant heavily from smashing her violin. Watching her go from playing beautifully to violently was very entertaining and unsettling.

I hadn't expected to find Courtney in this tiny recording studio; she seems too good for it. I had stopped by here to pick up some equipment from an old friend when I heard someone playing from one of the audition rooms. She had her back turned to me so I couldn't see her face, but the way she played was unbelievable, it was a very melancholy and passionate tune that was interrupted by a string breaking. That was when I noticed Courtney's face and the crazy wave of anger that came over her as she sent her violin flying into the floor.

I feel like I should ask her what is wrong, but honestly…. I'm a little afraid she might kill me if I ask.

"What are you doing here?" she demands. So much for a warm greeting.

"Um…. I was here to pick some equipment and-''

"And what? You decided to spy on me then sneak up on me unannounced?"

Yeah… that's the old Courtney I remember. "I just wanted to talk to you, wanted to know if you were OK," I said looking down at her broken violin.

Courtney looks down angrily before huffing. "I'm fine, not that it's any of your business."

Technically it's not, but I'm pretty sure anyone who smashes an instrument for no good reason isn't fine.

"Shouldn't you be with Gwen?" she snaps at me harshly while picking up her ruined instrument.

I shrug carelessly, "Shouldn't you be with Duncan?"

She freezes suddenly and looks hurt. For some reason I don't think I should've said that, did she and Duncan break up?

"We're taking a break," she replies without looking at me.

I'm not sure what that means other than their having problems. At least now I know what's bothering her. I'm not too surprised that she and Duncan are going through a rough time, being total opposites of each other can't be easy. "Oh," I say for lack of a better word.

An uncomfortable silence surrounds us as she throws away the last of the violin pieces. She shuffles her feet before finally looking at me and giving me an awkward glance. "Didn't the Drama Brothers break up? What are you doing here picking up equipment?"

Now it's my turn to give her an awkward look. "Well just because my band didn't work out doesn't mean I'm going to give up."

Courtney nods. "Right….."

More silence. Its right here where I should've walked away, should've just wished her luck with everything and just been on my way. But there was something about Courtney's sadness that just told me to stay, told me to do something about it, and before I could stop myself I was inviting her to my recording studio.

"You're inviting me to your recording studio?" Courtney asks suspiciously.

I simply nod hoping she'll take my offer.

"Why?" she asks.

I can only look at her confused until she explains herself.

"Why would you want me in your recording studio when I don't have my violin anymore, when I feel like crap and when Gwen will be there?"

I ease a little closer to her, just to make sure she hears me through. "I have extra instruments you can use, music will make you feel better, and Gwen won't be there."

Courtney's lips part in shock, and just when I think she's going to ask about Gwen she immediately shuts her mouth. I think on some level Courtney understands that Gwen and I aren't on romantic terms and she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Courtney acts aloof and unsympathetic to people most of the time, but deep down she understands and cares more than she lets on.

She takes a few moments to contemplate the pros and cons before walking past me. I don't need any clues to know that that means yes and that I have follow behind her. This will be interesting. Courtney and I playing music together….who would've guessed?

**Courtney POV**

I'm actually surprised how good Trent and I sound together, and he was right, I feel a whole lot better. I don't let thoughts of Duncan distract me as I continue to strum on a guitar alongside Trent and vocalize with him.

It's the stuff like this I miss most. I miss the simple things I use to do in solitude, sure I'm with Trent, but being with Trent isn't complicated. Trent is a nice guy who doesn't irritate me or interrupt me, unlike some people. I think that's the main reason I said yes to his offer, if it had been anyone else I would've said no.

With Trent it's actually easier to just let all my pent-up emotion out. Back on the Aftermath he was the only one who actually put up with it and listened. Looking back I actually feel a little bad for that, he had still been hurting from his break up with Gwen, and my accusations of her probably hadn't been too helpful.

That's why I didn't say anything when he mentioned Gwen wouldn't be around the studio. I could hear the edge of pain in his voice when he said it. I can understand why Gwen broke up with him when he was acting insane on the show, what I don't understand is why she won't take him back.

He'd be so good for her; he's such a good guy. Here I am acting like a brat and Trent is being so kind and gracious to me. Hell we aren't even that close and he's letting me have use to an expensive recording studio and its equipment.

It's nice to know that maybe I did make one friend from that entire dreadful experience of a reality show. Being here feels nice, and right now it's just perfect for my break away from Duncan, somewhere with a friend with no expectations or worries.

We finish our song and before I know it I'm saying to Trent, "We should do this again sometime."

I just realized that since I've been here in the recording studio I haven't had a single thought of Duncan for the first time in days; it brings me relief and grief all at the same time.

_"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain_

_forever." – __Unknown_

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A/N: Guess which characters are in the next chapter! Review!


	5. Chapter 4: Gravity

A/N: OK, so I'm sure everybody knows by now that Duncan and Gwen kiss. I must admit that I'm actually rather pissed that DxG got together like that, and by "that" I mean Duncan was still with courtney so he basically cheated, and what's worse is both Duncan and Gwen kept it secret form Courtney. However I still remain hopeful for DxC and even TxG. But it was like I said at the beginning of this story, I don't hate DxG and I think it might help strengthen future relationships, but yeah the way they got together was just wrong. So please DxC fans do not fear or be heartbroken, we still have many episodes and another season ahead of us.

So back to the stories. By the end of this week the love of my life is headed back to college, my sister has moved out, so I will pretty much be lonely after my summer classes finish. I plan on keeping myself distracted and venting my frustrations through my writing, drawing, and anything else I can think of. So thank you my fans for sticking with me, you guys are my motivation.

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Chapter 4: Gravity

_Something always brings me back to you_

_Never takes too long_

_No matter what I say or do_

_I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone_

**Duncan POV**

I'm so bored right now, I almost want to go set something on fire and have the cops chase me down just for the hell of it. I still have more than enough money to bail out of jail, only question is who would I call to come get me?

I guess now that princess and I are on a break I can't just call her up anymore. I guess I could call up one of my buddies from the show, but I actually haven't kept in touch with too many people from the show other than Gwen.

Courtney had never really been comfortable with me talking to Gwen online or over the phone; she still thought Gwen was trying to steal me away or some bullshit. Gwen is a great girl, but I don't think of her that way. Every time I try to even give it the slightest thought I always see her with love-sick-puppy Trent, then I just want to barf.

Trent was one guy I could never stand. He's all about romance and kindness, plus the way he goes about a relationship is even more sickening. Throwing challenges for your girlfriend is pathetic and stupid. I didn't feel bad for him at all when Gwen broke up with him, I was actually proud of her.

I guess hanging out with Gwen wouldn't hurt now that Courtney isn't around to yell in my ear about it. Before I even know it, I'm walking out the door and headed towards Gwen's.

**Gwen POV**

I was surprised and excited when Duncan showed up at my place. When he told me that he and Courtney were on a break I actually felt some relief for the guy. I still don't see what it is that Duncan loves or even likes about her, but right now I don't really care. It's nice to sit back with a good friend who likes the same kind of movies and music as you, it's actually nice to just sit around and talk about regular stuff.

As much as I like hanging out with Trent, things between us have been strained. Every conversation turns into something too personal and too weird. Trent knows me better then anybody and it's not the easiest thing to handle when you're just trying to be friends with someone. The nice thing about Duncan is we can get deep and personal without feeling awkward about it. I think that was something that always bothered Courtney, she didn't like that Duncan could always open up with me, when with her Duncan always made it a game or a cover. But one thing Courtney doesn't understand that Duncan and I do is that sometimes it's easier to open up to friends than to the person you love the most.

"I just haven't felt there lately, or I just haven't cared as much."

Duncan has been telling me about his feelings on Courtney ever since we sat down to get a bite to eat. We had stopped by the movies and saw a good bloody horror flick, we had passed by the arcade, and just for old times sake we decided to disconnect an old bus, now that we've slowed down Duncan is letting a lot off his chest.

"I still love her and all, but….. I don't know." He puts his hamburger down and runs a hand through his Mohawk, he really needs to get a trim. "I'm sorry for sounding like such a girl right now, but damn I've had a lot on my mind."

I just shrug and take a sip of my soda. "Being in a relationship can do that to you."

"Is that how it was with you and Trent?"

I stiffen up a bit when he mentions Trent, but I instantly relax since I know Duncan can make me feel better about the whole thing. "I guess sometimes I worried or over thought little things, but I also realized that the little things are the things that count."

Duncan looks at me doubtfully and shrugs. "Yeah I guess so."

My heart sinks a bit for him. Duncan has never gone through something as big as Courtney, and right now I can tell he's having doubts about her. I decide it's time to get his mind off of relationship stuff and just have some fun. I get up from my seat and slug him one in the shoulder. "C'mon let's get out of here."

**Duncan POV**

I finally feel relaxed. I'm glad I decided to hang out with Gwen. With her I'm free to just be myself without being lectured or scolded about it. I'm also glad Trent isn't here freaking out about us. The whole time on TDA I honestly felt like punching that guys lights out for even suspecting Gwen and I of being involved. Not to get corny, but Gwen deserves better than some guy who's going to accuse her of cheating. It also really pissed me off how he made Gwen feel responsible for his own whacked out behavior. Gwen didn't have anything to feel guilty about, it's not like I was trying to be a threat to Trent but once the guy started getting weird I did do a few things to rile him up.

For instance I did start hanging out with her more and started to talk to her more 'cause I knew it would make him mad. But I'm not the least bit sorry about it since Gwen turned out to be one cool chick to hang out with anyway. If I'd known Courtney would've freaked out about it too then maybe I wouldn't have tried so hard, but whatever. If Trent and Courtney are going to make such a big deal out of it then they can spend time together while Gwen and I just have a good time.

"This beach fucking sucks," I complain yet again.

Gwen only laughs as always, something about her laugh really makes me feel good, almost as if I accomplished something.

"Well then you shouldn't have brought us here," She wittily replies back. "Why did you bring us here?"

I kick some sand and scowl. "I didn't know where else to go. What else is there to do once you've bought everything you've ever wanted and did a bunch of stupid shit on a reality show?"

Gwen giggles and starts reminiscing of her time on TDI and TDA. "Ah yes the adventures. Why is it so hard for you to enjoy the million dollars and just relax? We're at a beach where all that stuff is behind us. I bet everyone else is enjoying their fame and here you are at your ropes end just complaining about a beautiful time at the beach with a friend."

Damn I hate her logic sometimes. She always makes a good point when I never want to hear it. "Why can't my friend just agree with me and admit that this beach sucks and there is nothing better to do?"

Gwen stops in her tracks, faces me and puts her hands on her hips coyly. "If you had nothing better to do then why did you come see me and take us to a boring beach? If this is really so horrible why don't you just go back home."

I really can't lie to her at this point. The great thing about Gwen is even when I'm bullshitting with her she can see right through it. "Ok this doesn't suck….and I don't want to go home….I just don't want to think about certain things anymore."

Gwen sighs and shakes her head at me. "Then don't think about them anymore stupid." She playfully smacks me across the head before heading down towards the water. Gwen rolls up her pants to her knees and starts tying her shirt into a knot. Crap she has a nice body!

"You do know we're not suppose to swim in this area, it's against the rules," I call out after her as she starts walking in the water.

She only laughs at me like I just made a joke. "Since when do you follow the rules?"

Since I met Courtney, but Courtney isn't here right now. The only thing her right now is the sun, the beach, the water, and Gwen. I finally just grin at her and make my way towards the water finally letting my thoughts and worries leave me.

**Gwen POV**

I'm so glad I was able to get Duncan to relax and have a little fun. When the coast guard came up to us yelling that we were swimming in a danger zone, we only started to mock him and play stupid. I'm sure he's still cussing about us right now, but it was just the right thing to get Duncan into a good mood. I really care about him and was glad to get a proper smile on his face.

He drives me back home and walks me to my door still making jokes about the coast guard and cracking himself up. "I mean how stupid do you have to be to wear an outfit like that?"

I scoff at him and flick his nose ring. "Oh please! Look at you; you wear more jewelry than a girl."

He only scoffs back at me playfully and pushes me lightly. "This coming from a girl who wears leather boots fit for a dominatrix."

I laugh and shove him back. "Shut up you jerk."

He only grabs my wrists and replies, "Wow, you're such a great friend saying nice things like that."

We continue laughing and wrestling around on my front porch until we both calm down and just stand there. Only problem is that Duncan hasn't let go of my hands yet. There is something weird that goes through my head and starts making my heart beat harder.

I've always defended my relationship with Duncan as being just purely friendship, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to myself that I haven't entertained the idea of us being more than just friends. I've always felt bad for thinking about Duncan in such a way when he loves Courtney so much, but now that he and Courtney are on a break maybe…..

Duncan finally lets go of my hands and suddenly looks uncomfortable. "So I'll see you next time Gwen." He doesn't even let me respond as he rushes off and leave me at my door still reeling from the moment of closeness. I can't help how I feel, and I can't help but hate Duncan for it either. Just when I think I'm safe with that guy he always finds a way to pull me back down. It's like he's the only person who knows me without trying, just when I think I'm so strong he seems to break me down in a second. It's why I always invite him back into my life even when I know it looks bad to those around me and to those I care about.

The oddest thing was, I could've sworn his hands turned sweaty right when my heart started beating hard.

_Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love_

_-IDK_

_

* * *

_

A/N: I really hope no one hates me for this chapter, but I can honestly see Duncan and Gwen happening a lot more easily and faster simply because they have more history and a closer relationship with each other than Courtney and Trent. But rest assured other characters will become closer in due time. Please review!


	6. Chapter 5: Breakeven

Chapter 5: Breakeven

_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?_

_What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your OK?_

_I'm falling to pieces_

**Duncan POV**

I still can't explain what just happened. One minute I was joking around with Gwen the next I'm holding onto her hands and getting lost in la la land. Since when do I even think of Gwen in that way, I'm a guy and any guy with eyes can see she's attractive, but it's like it's actually having some effect on me. I'm still technically in a relationship with Courtney. I have to admit through I'm almost thankful that Courtney wants this break. For the first time in a long time I felt like I actually had fun, the only sad thing about it was that it had to be with another girl other than my actual girlfriend.

For days I've been asking myself if Courtney is the one, if I really want to still be with her or not. Part of me is aching to know if there is someone out there better for me. I highly doubt it since Courtney is the only person I've ever found something great in, she's the best part of me. It's only as of lately that I haven't been feeling the same spark. Maybe seeing other people would do us some good. maybe we can get back whatever we lost by realizing that no one else has what we need... if that's even true

I walk up to my door surprised to find it unlocked. Courtney is standing in my living room packing a few leftover clothes in a duffel bag.

"Oh... hey," she she says upon my entrance. "I just came by to pick up a few clothes I forgot here. I'll be out of your way soon."

"Nah, take your time," I say nochantly. I'm actually glad she's here so I can talk to her about my idea. The only thing is I'm not sure how to start. She'll either go with the idea or she'll kill me for even bringing it up.

"I ran into Trent recently."

OK... That's news to me. Since when do her and Trent hang out? "Yeah, how is he?" Not that I care, I'm sure he's been whining and moaning ever since his little boy band broke up.

"He's doing great actually. He's been working on some new music and has been asking for my input, he even gave me a new guitar to practice with him."

Since when is Trent giving Courtney new gifts and why is he even asking for her input anyway? "Sounds like fun."

She nods and suddenly smiles in a way I haven't seen her smile in a long time. "Yeah it has been."

Normally my jealousy would be boiling over right now, but Courtney's easiness and happiness only makes me hopeful that my idea will actually seem reasonable. Maybe Trent isn't such a bad guy after all. If Gwen is a person I can turn to, maybe Trent can be that person for Courtney.

"So I saw Gwen today."

Courtney immediately stiffens and looks at me blankly. "You did?"

I nod and keep my mouth shut expecting her to start yelling. Instead she just says "Oh," and keeps packing.

I scratch my head nevously and decide to come right out with it. "So since we're on a break I thought it'd be good for us if we see other people."

It's here where Courtney nearly loses it. It's right here where I should've just taken it back and tried to work things out with her. But it was already too late and the bomb had went off. All I had to do was survive the explosion.

**Courtney POV**

I could honestly slap him right now, and it's taking all of my strength not to. I never trusted Duncan around Gwen, there is just too much going on there that's hard to ignore. They can claim they're friends all they want but at any given moment I can tell those two would fall into the chance if they had it. Duncan never has to say it, his eyes just give it away. Even if he loves me he wants Gwen.

"Do you want to be with her?"

He looks at me confused for a second before shaking his head and saying, "No."

I don't believe him. "I don't believe you"

Duncan suddenly starts getting mad at me as if I'm talking nonsense. "Courtney I only want to be with you, Gwen is just a friend."

"I don't believe you!" I throw my bag on the floor and start crying as if I've been holding back the tears forever. I've never been one to cry in front of Duncan, but this time I just can't stop myself. I want him to see how badly he's hurt me, I want him to feel guilty of what he's asking of me 'cause there's no way he'd be suggesting this if...

"Duncan you hang out with Gwen for one day and all of a sudden you want us to start dating other people? How can you look me in the eye and tell me that some part of you doesn't want to be with Gwen, that some part of you hasn't always wanted to be with Gwen."

He doesn't even say anything, he's too dumbstruck to even think of a clever response or a decent lie. "If she wasn't in the picture you wouldn't even be suggesting this idea to me right now."

"That's not true," he claims.

"It's not!" I snap. "Then how else do you expect me to react to this Duncan?"

Duncan shakes his head as if he's lost now. "I just thought it might be good for us."

"Good for us or good for you?" He ignores my question.

"Courtney I think we will miss what we have and that eventually we will be together. I just think we need time to find out if we can truly get all we need from each other or if we need things from someone else."

I don't even know what to say him. I want to tell him he's full of shit. I want to tell him he doesn't need Gwen, but the truth is...

"**I** don't need you Duncan."

My words hit him like a million bricks and I'm glad. "I don't need your money, your help, or you trying to fulfill my needs. I've always done that by myself and I can still do that. You're not the center of my universe and I refuse to let you be any longer" I finally pick up my bag and my pride ready to leave. "You want to see other people so bad? Then fine go ahead, because you're obviously the one who thinks he doesn't have all his needs and wants fulfilled from being with just one girl; and if you think Gwen can do that then have fun. I'm not doing this anymore, I'm leaving."

I make no promises to him. I finally have my freedom and all the time in the world to do as I want and to find my success. But the last thing I will do is spend it on a guy who no longer appreciates me.

"Wait hold on!"

I pause before I walk out the door, I guess I owe him the good graces of the final word.

**Duncan POV**

I really can't believe she's walking out on me, and as sappy as it sounds, I literally feel as though she's just tore my heart right out of my chest. "So you're really OK with this? You're just going to leave and sleep good tonight knowing that you just accused me of wanting to be with someone else."

Courtney sighs at me and shakes her head wearily. "Duncan it's not just you I'm accusing of wanting something else." If I could breathe right now I would, but I think my brain just forgot how. "I think you were right... maybe we do need to see other people."

Never have my own words smacked me right in the face. I probably had my own benefit in mind when I suggested it in the first place, 'cause now that Courtney is actually saying she wants something or rather someone else, I really feel like shit.

Courtney walks out with her head held high, while I'm left there sulking. I really don't know what else to do other than try to accept that this time it really is over. I screwed up like I do a million times and she finally got sick of it. I guess sooner or later this was bound to happen, Courtney and I would've come to this point eventually, so I guess it's a good thing that it happened sooner rather than the both of us making each other miserable for years and years. I guess this was for the best.

I go to my room for some decent sleep when I notice the skull I made for Courtney a long time ago on that stupid island. It just sits there on the table, the table on Courtney side, its hallowed eyes just stare at me. She always claimed to love the wooden skull even though it was clearly not her taste. I still remember vividly when I threw it to her on the boat and she caught it in both hands and held it right to her heart.

I sit on her side and pick up the little wooden skull and hold it in my own hands. That's when reality really hits me hard. She isn't coming back.

"Damn..."

**Gwen POV**

I can't really deny it to myself, but I know what I want and even though I know it's going to hurt him... it is something I have to do.

**Trent POV**

I really hope Courtney is doing better. I think our music sessions together are helping her out but she still doesn't talk much about Duncan, which I know is the real reason she's so depressed lately. If there's anything I could say about Duncan it would be-

Gwen is calling my cell phone. I haven't heard from Gwen in so long I was starting to get worried. I eagerly answer my phone, glad that she's the one calling me this time.

"Hi Gwen!"

There's a long pause before she finally answers. "Hi Trent."

"How have you been?"

There's a heavy sigh and I suddenly feel as though this is going to be a bad conversation.

"Trent..." Gwen says in a low voice. "I need to tell you something."

_Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong ... sometimes it's letting go. _


	7. Chapter 6: All I Wanted

Chapter 6: All I Wanted

_I could follow you back to the beginning_

_Just relive the start_

_And maybe then we'll remember to slow down_

_At all of our favorite parts_

**Trent POV**

I'm still not entirely sure how to feel, I feel pathetic for one thing. Pathetic for feeling heart broken when it's clear I never even had a second chance. As soon as Gwen asked me to stop trying it was like an anvil had been dropped on me. Why is it that I just can't move on from her?

Better yet why can't she just feel the same and try again with me. Was I that bad a boyfriend? Or did she simply not want me enough the way I wanted her?

I get up from my seat and start walking around my apartment like an idiot. I can still remember the first time I saw her and how captivated I was with her. She seemed so different from the other girls there that without even thinking about it I stood next to her immediately feeling the electricity. Now all of a sudden I feel like I'm heavy and hollowed out. I just want something to make the feeling go away.

My home phone starts ringing and I ignore it, let the machine get it. I've already dealt with more than enough bad news.

*BEEP*

"Hey…Trent?" Is that Courtney, why does she sound so upset? "I guess you're not home right now, but can you please give me a call when you can? I had the worst day today." She thinks she had a bad day? Wait till she hears about mine. "Well….. alright then, bye."

*BEEP*

I can't help but feel a stab of guilt for blowing off Courtney, but right now I am in no mood to be comforting people. It's probably about Duncan anyway.

As I keep trying to breathe deeply, and let the pain sink in, I decide that maybe Gwen is right. Maybe I really should stop trying so hard. She was my first girlfriend, the first girl I **wanted** to be with, and perhaps it's just inevitable for this to happen. Everyone has to break up eventually. The thing with Gwen however was the fact that we ended so fast, so badly; that I just wish we could've had more time. That I really could've been a good boyfriend instead of the jealous and overprotective guy I turned into.

I lean against a wall and take one last deep breath, yeah the only girl I loved is really done with me, and I've got to move on.

I walk to my closet, pull down a box and set it on my kitchen counter. I rummage around the kitchen feeling numb and tired. I get out a frying pan and a lighter. I still can't believe how many pictures I managed to catch of my time on that reality show. I just about threw all of them away, all except the ones with Gwen.

I pick out a random one that features Gwen peacefully drawing on her art pad. She looks so beautiful.

I flick the lighter and watch as the flames eat up her face and turn to black. Even now I still wish I had her with me.

**Courtney POV**

Trent won't answer his home phone or his cell. I need someone to talk to.

Not because I feel sad or anything, but mostly because I want to tell someone how glad I am I ended it. I want to brag about my freedom, I want to celebrate….. I want to cry.

I finally stop with my denial and just let my tears come out. I hate that I broke up with Duncan, I hate that I still want him. But mostly I hate Trent for being my only friend unavailable to talk to.

I continue to sit in my pathetic excuse for an apartment, with my knees drawn up to my chest and my eyes leaking like crazy.

I look at the phone, willing it to ring. Maybe Duncan will call and take everything all back. Then we can start over. Start fresh and clean without all the drama. Hell maybe Trent will actually call and make me feel better, tell me I made the right decision and that I can do better.

Nothing, no one calls.

Left without any other options, I get up and make my way to my bedroom. Sleep is the only thing I can do to temporarily stop these stupid tears.

**Gwen POV**

I feel bad for not doing it sooner. I led Trent on and let him believe we were going to work it out and actually get back together. Part of me wanted that, but the other part of me was afraid to go back to Trent, to become reliant and dependable on him. I need to know if there is something or someone else out there for me that I might've missed out on had I gotten back together with Trent.

Our relationship was so hectic, mostly because of that damn show, but also because I think we both tried too hard. Tried to push it further, tried to make it last, tried to find excuses. All in all my relationship with him wore me out, I cared and wanted him so much that it took everything in me just to be with him.

Now that I've cut all ties from Trent I finally feel free.

My cell phone starts going off and I immediately pick it up as soon as I see Duncan's number.

"Hey, what's up?"

I expect some kind of crude or smartass remark but I'm met with a heavy silence, and I've known Duncan long enough to know that something bad has happened.

"Hey Gwen, do you want to do something tomorrow? Maybe you can come over and we can just talk."

Talk? The only time Duncan wants to talk is when he needs to get something off his chest, and right now it's sound like the whole weight of the world is on his chest. "Yeah sure Duncan, I can come by tomorrow, is there something wrong?"

I hear him groan before saying, "I'll tell you about it tomorrow, see you then."

"Yeah see you." He hangs up without another word and leaves me standing dumbfounded. Today just seems like a lousy day for everyone.

Courtney POV

I couldn't sleep. I decide to sit out on my balcony and just do nothing, that's all I've been doing with my life lately anyway so why should this be any different?

Well I guess I also cry all the time, it's something only losers do, so I guess it only suits me. It's ridiculous how much you can miss a jerk of a boyfriend, especially when it's the only jerk who ever gave a damn about you.

Trent still hasn't called me back, some friend he is and I know by now Duncan and Gwen…. Gwen!

Oh god! No wonder Trent hasn't called me back, there's no doubt in my mind that he found out about Gwen and Duncan, he's probably just as bent out of shape as me.

Crap, now I feel like the lousy friend. I try to put myself together as much as possible and start making my way to Trent's house.

By the way Trent's house really needs some work, he needs to let go of his Drama Brother's legacy and start moving forward. Last time I was over here his house was decked out in bad furniture and old records framed and forgotten. It basically looks like one-hit wonders bachelors pad. Very distasteful.

But at least he has a house, At his age that's more than a lot of people have, I had to move back in with my parents after Duncan and I broke up. I can tell my parents are disappointed to have me back, they've always ignored me to begin with, but I'm used to it. At least I graduated high school early and can now move out whenever I want, I just need to get a decent job, apply to college, and save up some money.

Just as I'm about to knock on Trent's door it hits me, Duncan is going to be with Gwen, and even though Trent is really hurt about it, he's going to be ok because he has his music career to focus on, He has had things already happen to him and has the full potential to make even bigger things happen for him.

What the hell do I have? I have nothing. I've graduated high school early but I have yet to apply to any colleges, I have no money, I have no job, and I don't have Duncan.

I stand there frozen and ready to turn away when the door suddenly opens and Trent is standing there. He has no idea how lucky he is, I'm such a loser that he shouldn't be friends with me, I shouldn't even be here right now.

"Courtney?"

I don't say anything.

"Are you OK? What are you doing here?"

I still don't say anything, I'm afraid to even move, I feel like everything is suddenly catching up to me and at any moment I might break down. So I just stand there and wait for Trent to tell me go away for being such a failure.

Trent POV

I didn't expect Courtney to come over. I could've sworn I heard someone at my door, and I'm surprised it's her.

But there's something terribly off about her, she seems as if… as if she's lost something. She doesn't even say anything, she doesn't even seem to be waiting for me to say something. She's just kind of…there.

"Courtney? What's wrong?"

She shakes her head and looks down at her feet. "I don't get it, it's not fair."

I don't understand what she means, she suddenly turns her back on me and sits down on the stoop of my porch. I decide to sit next to her and talk to her about it. "What do you mean Courtney?"

"Duncan is gone."

Oh! No wonder she's so out of it, I can understand how she feels right now, but in all honesty I think she could do better than Duncan.

"He's with Gwen now."

Wham! Like a punch in the face I finally see why Gwen wanted me to back off. She wants Duncan, like I suspected. Yet it's strange how much it doesn't bother me as much as it should, I mean yeah it sucks, but then again it's not like I didn't see it coming. But I don't think Courtney did, which means she's hurting much more than I am. So all my focus and attention goes to her, and i ignore my feelings on Gwen's decision.

"And you have your career, You have plans, a promising future," she says sadly.

"Courtney I have hopes and wants," I explain to her. "It doesn't guarantee me anything."

"At least you know what you want."

Sure I know what I want, but doesn't she?

"Everyone has something, everybody wants something…. I want something."

I put a hand on her shoulder and try to look her in the eye. 'What do you want Courtney?"

She shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head in defeat. "I don't know anymore."

She leans her head down in her hands. She really doesn't have anywhere else to turn, losing Duncan has suddenly made her feel as though she's lost everything, because for the longest time now Duncan has been the one thing she's wanted most… now that that's gone Courtney doesn't know where to turn to anymore.

I'm glad she's here at least, so I can help her, so I can maybe help her find whatever she needs to find, maybe I can even give her something I wasn't able to give my other friends…. Or Gwen.

"C'mon," I say helping Courtney up.

She looks at me confused. "What are we doing?"

"Going inside," I say calmly. "We've both had a bad day, you can stay here for awhile until you feel better.'

A look of relief comes over Courtney face, and I'm glad I'm the one who can make her feel like she's not alone. All I want is for her to be happy, and all I want is a friend to talk to, at this moment all I want is Courtney.

_A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart- Attributed to Heather Pryor_


	8. Chapter 7: Be Strong

Chapter 7: Be Strong

He's in another girl's loving arms  
You watch her working  
Her womanly charms  
And you wonder why  
You break down and cry

**Trent POV**

Courtney's still asleep on my couch, well I should say passed out. She had more than enough alcohol last night before going through my bedroom and looking for something to sleep in, sure enough she chose the most expensive silk shirt she could find and started streaking right in front of me!

I diverted my eyes as fast as possible, unfortunately I wasn't quite fast enough and saw an image I'm not bound to forget soon. Courtney then stumbled on the couch and passed out.

Watching her sleep…is actually rather peaceful. She's actually calm and serene, usually Courtney is so hyper and eager to get everything done at once. I'm just glad she's finally getting some rest, I don't think she's been able to get any good rest in a while, especially since Duncan.

I still can't believe Duncan suggested that they should see other people, and of all people he sets his sights on Gwen. Gwen had always insisted they were just friends, but Duncan never said no such thing, in fact he seemed to enjoy the conflict he created between her and me. Then Courtney started noticing the signs too, and I could tell it really tore her up inside.

I'm the hopeless romantic type, but Courtney was the independent and lone type. When Duncan came into her life she changed all that. She allowed someone else to be part of her life, to share her life. To sacrifice all your beliefs and rules for someone is a really major thing. I still believe in love, but I'm worried Courtney may not anymore, which would be a shame because she's such an amazing person and deserves someone good in her life.

**Courtney POV**

I feel like my head got hit by a train, but besides a minor headache I actually feel pretty good. I finally managed to sleep and feel as though the weight of the world is no longer on my shoulders. I'm still a little bent out of shape with the sharp turn my life has taken, but now that I'm well rested I feel ready to get back up on my feet and start living again.

"Good morning."

Trent is standing over me holding a glass of water and an aspirin, my hero. "Thanks," I say taking the water and the pill. I feel a little silly for passing out on his sofa and turning into a sloppy drunk last night, but at least Trent is a good guy and was patient enough to put up with my crap.

Wait a minute….

"Trent why am I in your shirt?"

Trent's eyes go slightly big and he scratches his head nervously…. Oh god!

"We didn't, did we?" I say slightly panicked. How drunk was I?

"No! No! You were tired and dressed yourself…. Kind of in front of me, but I didn't see…much."

"Much?" I snap.

"Not to say you don't have much! I just….sorry."

I can tell he's embarrassing himself, so I finally let out the laughter I've been holding back and let him off the hook. "It's ok Trent, I was the one acting like an idiot, you have nothing to apologize for."

Trent breathes out a sigh of relief and collapses in the chair opposite from me. "Well I'm just glad you were able to relax and have some fun, you seemed to be in a pretty bad way."

I nod my head, glad that he's understanding and not critical of me and my emotions. "Yeah I was, but now I'm ready to take on the world again," I say confidently sitting up and walking towards the bathroom to put my clothes back on. "Thank you for being such a great friend Trent."

Trent shrugs his shoulder and says, "No problem."

Gwen's an idiot, anyone who lets go of such a nice guy is an idiot. Oh well, that means her and Duncan will be perfect for each other then.

"I'll get dressed and get out of your way," I say not wanting to overstay my welcome. I really don't want to go back to my place, but I'm sure Trent wants to be by himself, he did technically get dumped by Gwen twice so he must think I'm being a nuisance.

"Hey Courtney," he calls out to me before I can close the bathroom door. "Do you want to go get some breakfast and we can just hang out today."

Is he just trying to be nice? I really don't want to bother him farther. "It's OK Trent, I can just head home."

"Oh…. Well if you have to."

What? Does he really want me to stay? I never thought I've been much of a friend to anyone but… "Actually Trent, I'm starving, so why don't you decide on a good place for us to eat and I'll be ready in ten minutes."

His face lights up and he suddenly looks eager to get going. "Alright then," he says heading towards his room. "I'll get ready."

I smile brightly to myself, I'm so glad I'm close to Trent. If I didn't have a guy like him right now I'd probably be breaking down and feeling lonely. Yep, Gwen is an idiot.

**Duncan POV**

Gwen's such an awesome girl. I finally managed to explain everything what happened and she has yet to be judgmental or harsh on me.

"So that's it? You guys are really done?"

I didn't blame her for not fully believing me. Courtney and I have broken up and gotten back together plenty of time before, but this time was different, this time Courtney guaranteed she would no longer have me be part of her life, and even now I can't decide if that fact saddens or relieves me.

"Yep… we're really over."

Gwen places a hand on my shoulder. "It will be OK Duncan. If you really feel like you need to see other people than that's your decision, it's how you feel about it. You can't control how you feel."

I didn't mention to Gwen the suspicion Courtney had of me wanting to be with her. But now that Courtney and I were done I think I could finally admit to myself that I did want to be with Gwen, that I did see something between us and I wanted to see what it was and how far we could take it.

Gwen was right, you can't control how you feel, just your actions, and now I was ready to make mine. I take the hand Gwen has on my shoulder and kiss it. Gwen's pale face immediately turns red and she diverts her eyes shyly away from me. So damn cute.

"Uh… Well did you want to do something," Gwen asks nervously. "We could go eat, or-or we could watch a movie….or…."

I just smile at her and can just tell that's this is going to work. There's something about Gwen's attitude that tells me that a part of her wants to take action too. That she has thought about this just as much as I have.

I actually find myself getting excited. She seems like the right girl to start something new with. "Yeah let's head out and see what happens."

"See hat happens," replies Gwen girlishly. It's funny how tough she acts and the moment she can act like a fool she does without even realizing it. I just laugh at her and wrap an arm around her shoulder. Today was going to be a good one.

**Gwen POV**

I should be happy right now; hell I should be having the time of my life right now, but somehow… I'm not.

The day was beautiful, wonderful and full of possibilities. Yet how can something just slap me back in the face? Why can't I just make up my mind and get a hold of these stupid emotions?

"Are you ok?" Duncan asks.

I can tell he knows I'm not, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea and just up and leave me because of how I reacted earlier.

Why did I react that way? It was only Courtney… with Trent.

_2 Hours Earlier…_

Now that Courtney and Duncan were over I felt no guilt in my emotions for him. In fact I let them flow almost freely as he took me everywhere on his motorcycle. We just acted like children, doing whatever looked fun or inviting.

Everything was perfect… but I guess it was bound to get screwed up eventually.

We were both hungry, we sat down at an expensive restaurant for no more than a minute when I noticed.

Trent was sitting a few feet away from us, but it wasn't him that threw me off. I'm always happy to see Trent and just talk to him, hell I probably would've invited him over to join us had it not been for **her**.

Courtney sat right across from Trent on the open patio of the restaurant and looked more comfortable with him than I've ever seen her with Duncan. Without even trying, I overreacted and my feelings were suddenly hurt. I sucked in a sharp breath and let my mouth hang open in shock.

I could've stayed frozen in that moment for eternity if it hadn't been for Duncan's hand grabbing mine and shaking me out of my trance. "What's wrong?"

Everything! How did he not see it too? How couldn't he overreact the way I was now? How come this was happening right now, right when I swore I wanted this? When I wanted Trent to move on and take my chance with Duncan. What was wrong with me?

I didn't trust my voice so I looked back in their direction again to make Duncan look to. He didn't have the same response. He looked only slightly surprised to see the two of them together. Did he know? How close were they?

"Oh well speak of the devil," He said jokingly.

I didn't find it funny. "What are they doing here?" I asked defensively.

Duncan was more surprised by my attitude then anything else. "This is a popular restaurant Gwen, Courtney comes here all the time."

Oh wonderful! I'm at a restaurant were his ex is likely to show up at! What the hell was Duncan thinking?

"Should we go talk to them?"

I eye him suspiciously. Why isn't this awkward for him? Is he just trying to piss off Courtney and use me for his stupid game?

"No," I say stubbornly. There is no way in hell I'm doing this game of the ex's vs. the new girl.

Unfortunately Courtney and Trent are already approaching us. I could already hear Courtney's screeching buzz in my ears. Luckily Trent spoke first.

"Hey Gwen…. Nice to run into you."

Really?

"How have you been Duncan?" asks Trent to Duncan who is just sharing a silent glance with Courtney. I'm trying to find any hint of longing or desire between the two of them, or even hostility. If there is any I don't see it, there's almost coolness between them, a peaceful knowing, like somehow they expected to see each other in this type of situation.

"I've been doing ok," Duncan says finally acknowledging Trent.

Trent nods and directs his attention back to me. "Courtney said you two might be on a date so I wasn't sure if it was ok to come up and interrupt you two."

Courtney said? Wait did Courtney break up with Duncan because she thought he wanted to be with me? Did Duncan want to be with me?

Courtney must've seen the look of panic on my face because she just gave me an even smile. "It's ok Gwen, I'm not going to kill you."

Well that's reassuring.

"Trent and I were just hanging out and I saw you two and figured you must be on a date."

"Oh," I say uncomfortably. "So does that mean you and Trent…?"

Then something happens that I've never seen happen before. Trent and Courtney actually blush! I've never seen Courtney blush, and I don't recall Trent turning so red.

"Um…" mumbles Courtney slightly giggling. "No not really, We're not like that." I find that hard to believe with the way she's smiling so brightly over the idea. "I kind of ended up getting drunk last night and I'm just recovering today, with his help of course."

Trent's attention goes back to Courtney and it seems as if I disappear all together. "Well of course with my help, what would you do without me?"

Courtney rolls her eyes and smiles. "Geez I have no idea," she flirts back.

God I feel nauseous. Duncan meanwhile looks relieved and happy. Why can't I b happy for the both of them? Why am I so… jealous?

_Present…_

"No I'm not OK," I snap finally answering Duncan's stupid question.

My harshness only throws him off further and he looks at me in disbelief. I think about going inside my apartment and just locking him outside, but I'm actually hoping he wants to talk about this. There's just so much I feel I need to get off my chest.

I put my back against the door and start fiddling with my keys waiting for him to say something. "Did I miss something? I thought you were over Trent, you were the one who broke it off."

I shrug and reply, "Yeah well maybe I'm not yet."

Duncan makes an exasperated sound and rolls his eyes. "Well that's great to know, maybe if I knew that to begin with I wouldn't have broken up with Courtney in the first place."

How dare he!

"Fuck you!" I didn't want to say that, but somehow I can't help it. What is it about Courtney that every guy in my life seems to be so drawn to?

"Hey I'm just being honest, I don't know how else you want me to react."

I want him to say it's ok, I want him to just be understanding and agree with me. But this isn't Trent I'm talking to. I can't expect anything less than the truth from Duncan. It's not ok that I'm not completely over Trent, and it's not ok for me to be acting childish and getting jealous about something I asked for in the first place.

I finally look Duncan in the eye. The least I can do is try to make this right, I do really like him and I do want to give him a chance. I don't want lingering feelings to ruin that.

"Why?" I ask. "Why did you break up with Courtney? Do you really want to be with me?"

Duncan looks uncomfortable, he always is with personal questions, but it's just something I need to know. I need to know this is worth my time and energy.

"I do want to see if this can work," he says evenly. "But if you don't know what you really want then what am I doing here in the first place?"

I sigh and bury my face in my hands tiredly. I decide to tell it like it is and hope he's strong and mature enough to deal with it. "I want us to work too, but I can't force myself to feel or not feel something. Maybe I do still have feelings for Trent… but I have stronger feelings for you, and if you just give me the time I know we can get through this."

There's nothing but a heavy silence now, and all I can do is wait for his response.

**Duncan POV**

I should be mad right now, but I'm not. Surprisingly enough I actually understand her and where she's coming from. Simply because I felt the same way she does.

As fucked up as it seems, I actually got a bit pissed at the sight of Trent and Courtney getting so close together. Luckily I'm a better liar then people realize. I remember staring down Courtney, she was so cool about it all, while I was just plain angry. It only took her a day and she was over me and in a silent exchange I was mentally telling her "fuck you."

It's so stupid that I can get mad about her moving on. She's her own person why shouldn't she get over me. I guess I'm just as selfish as Gwen is and just want my ex to still be in love with me. The only reason I'm mad at Gwen is because I was hoping she only wanted me, but I guess I just ask for too much. The whole situation is fucked up, but I'm not about to ruin this new opportunity. I'm taking it and I'm planning to go all the way, Courtney and Trent be damned.

Gwen is still waiting for my response. I don't trust my words so I just walk over to her and place a firm kiss on her lips. She melts right into it with no resistance. It's so much smoother than I expected, just easier to ignore the pull I'm still feeling for Courtney.

As the kiss continues I slowly feel the pull lessening, and I finally focus on nothing but Gwen, and it feels right.

I just hope we're both as strong as we think we are to keep going forward.

_Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening. ~Maya Angelou_

_

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_A/N: Damn this chapter was long! Ever notice some people get mad if their ex moves on? I call it selfishness, but then again a lot of the time we don't have control over it. Anyway I'm hoping to finish most of my stories by the end of the year, not this one since it's still really far in the beginning, but yeah... I recently joined a new website called 8 track and just finished making a playlist for Duncan and Courtney, check it out if you're a music lover. Review!


	9. Chapter 8: Broken Wings

A/N: I've been gone for a while and I do apologize. My college screwed me over pretty bad with financial aid, then my job is screwing me over, and right now I'm trying to get a few things back together and I thought now that I'm taking some time off I might as well get back to my writing. I decided to focus heavily on Trent and Courtney on this chapter since they haven't had as much romantic involvement as I would prefer, so enjoy!

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Chapter 8: Broken Wings

_Thank you for being_

_Such a friend to me_

_Oh I pray a friend for life_

_And have I ever told you,_

_How much you mean to me?_

_Oh you mean so much to me_

**Courtney POV**

The tattoo on my arm is rather big, simple, but big. At the time it seemed like such a great idea, I was so in love and dyeing to be rebellious, what better ways to be young and alive than getting a matching tattoo with the guy you love.

Now however I'm really starting to regret getting something so large and permanent. I guess subconsciously I had it in my head that my relationship was going to last forever and getting a mark on my body with Duncan would be similar to a commitment, almost like an engagement ring. Only a ring you can take off, you can't just take off ink when it's branded into layers of your skin.

When I first got the tattoo it was suppose to be a symbol of my love for Duncan, now it feels like a scar, a mark of shame that's laughing at me and my naïve thinking.

"Are you ok?"

I glance up at Trent and defensively remove my arm from the table. "Of course I'm ok, why bother asking?"

"You haven't eaten," he says pointing at my now frozen eggs.

Shit! Figures I stay another night at Trent's house and when he cooks breakfast for me I completely waste his food and disregard his hospitality. I sigh and hang my head in defeat, for being such a nice guy Trent sure knows how to make me feel guilty, probably because I'm not such a nice girl.

"I'm so sorry Trent."

Trent immediately looks thrown off, as if he doesn't understand what's happening right now. "What? I'm not saying you have to eat or anything, I was just wondering. If you want I could make you something else."

Damn it there he goes again! "No! No! Please, I've already ruined your breakfast and I don't want you making me something else when it's just going to go cold again."

Trent still just sits there slightly bewildered.

"God I'm such a lousy friend! I'm over here taking complete advantage of you!" I get up from the table a bit dramatically and go back to the couch, slouching over and crossing my arms over my chest.

Trent just darts his eyes around and reaches for my untouched plate. "Uh… Really Courtney it's no big deal, if you want something else I would be more than happy to make it for you."

It's hard to argue with someone who's so damn agreeable, I guess I'm too use to confrontation that I no longer know how to carry on a normal conversation, because now I'm just sitting here looking stupidly back at Trent without one word to say.

Trent waits another second before saying, "You're not taking advantage of me I swear."

I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head at him. "Are you really this much of a gentleman or do you just like being a slave to any girl who happens to be around you?"

Trent chuckles slightly before rolling his eyes. "Sorry if I decide to act like a decent human being around company."

Trent turns his back to put away the dishes while I just scoff loudly at his comment. "Please Trent; you'd get better company from a burglar at this point. All I'm being right now is a freeloader."

Trent furrows his eyebrows at me this time and sits across from me. "Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself? You said you didn't feel like going back home, so as a friend I offered to let you stay here, you think of me as a friend don't you?"

**Trent POV**

She rolls her eyes at my question. I can't help but ask it at this point. One minute we're having breakfast together, the next she's freaking out on me and swearing she's such a horrible friend and guest. I wish I had an alarm to know when Courtney was going to have a freak out moment, but then again it's kind of nice to have this kind of craziness and emotion around.

"Trent, of course I think of you as a friend, you've done more for me than anyone else this past week. What I don't understand is why you think of **me** as a friend."

I grin at her and answer her question without any difficulty. "Because you're funny, you're interesting to be around, because you're unpredictable, and you're a lot nicer than you think you are Courtney."

Courtney gives me a deadpanned look. "When have I ever been nice to you Trent?"

"You congratulate me when I think of a new cord or lyric for one of my songs, you paid for dinner the last two times we went out, you always offer to do the dishes, you warn me when I'm doing something dangerous or not paying attention."

Courtney tries to recall everything I just mentioned. "Really, I do that?"

I laugh at her cluelessness. "Yeah you do. You try so hard to be tough, but I don't think you recognize when you're actually being such a sweetheart," I tease her playfully.

She rolls her eyes again and scoffs. "Please, you have no idea how mean I can really be."

I just shrug my shoulders at her and smile smugly. "Well I'm a nice guy so I don't really care either way… or maybe your assumption of me liking to be a slave is correct."

Courtney laughs finally relaxing again. "Well I figured you to be the submissive type when you go for girls dressed as dominatrix's."

I burst out into laughter at her assumption. "Oh whatever! Look who's talking, miss 'I'm so independent and in charge but I'm going to date a guy who never listens to me.'"

Courtney bursts out in laughter and throws a pillow at my head. "Shut up, and go make me some breakfast slave!"

I cross my arms and grin at her. "Nope!"

Her mouth opens in shock.

"Make it yourself."

She smirks at me. "I thought you said you were a nice guy."

I smirk back at her and proudly put my arms behind my head. "I thought you liked guys who never listen to you."

She just smiles and nods her head looking back at the tattoo on her arm. "Yeah…. I thought I did too."

Oh! No wonder she was out of it during breakfast, she had been staring at her arm the whole time, and I now realize she was looking at the tattooed heart on her arm. I have to admit it's a rather nice tattoo; the design within the shape is simple and elegant. I'm surprised she got so big and so visible, but then again Duncan might've talked her into that.

I can't help but want to help Courtney out, I feel she's helped me out so much, in ways she's not even remotely aware of. She inspired me to write my music again, better even. She's distracted me from all the craziness around me and allowed me to have fun again. All in all she's just been there; just having her here does something different for me.

Without even thinking I say, "Do you want to get it removed?"

Her smile falls and she looks at me slightly alarmed. "What?"

"Your tattoo," I say pointing at it lazily. She glances back down at it nervously. "I have enough money still to help you out with it, you could think of it as a gift."

She rubs her thumb over the tattoo and looks back up at me uncomfortably. "Um…"

"I can understand how personal it is, I mean you got it with your ex boyfriend and I know how permanent it is and you probably want to get it removed by now."

Courtney looks like she's struggling to find the right words, I kind of feel silly for bringing it up out of nowhere, but I just want her to feel better about it and not worse. I don't want the reality of losing Duncan to come crashing back down on her so badly the way it did a few nights ago.

"You're right Trent, it is very personal," She finally answers heavily. "But I don't think I'm ready to get this removed just yet."

Her answer both confuses and disappoints me. Why is she still holding on to this so tightly?

She must've read my expression too well because she immediately adds, "No, it's not like that. It's just that it was a very big part of my life and it's not something I can just remove all together in one day."

I nod, still disappointed. "Yeah I can understand that, but sooner or later… we all have to just move on."

She looks at me annoyed before snapping, "Says the guy who still wears the necklace of his ex who broke up with him on national TV."

I automatically look down and realize I'm wearing the necklace Gwen gave me after I saved it for her during a challenge. Had I really not taken it off? It's not like it's a tiny necklace you just don't notice, I just never got around to taking it off. Hell I don't think I even take it off during a shower. Was I really that pathetic?

I look up at Courtney embarrassed while she continues to sit with a scowl and a bothered mood. Instead of waiting for me to apologize or correct myself she stands up and goes for her jacket.

"You know what Trent, I think maybe I've outstayed my welcome, I think I should get going now."

I'm not sure what comes over me at that moment. All I know is that I don't want her to leave; I need her to stay so badly it's almost ridiculous. I quickly get up from my seat and reach for her arm. My hand completely covers the tattoo and the first thing that flies out of my mouth before she can protest is "I'm sorry."

It's enough to make her halt and look at me. "Really I'm sorry," I repeat. I continue to hold onto her afraid to let go. "You're right, what do I know about moving on when all I have is a stupid piece of jewelry that I can take off but never do."

She sighs and looks down at my hand still grasping her arm. I'm surprised she hasn't pulled away yet.

Hours seem to pass between us before she speaks again. "Do me a favor ok," she asks pleadingly. "Don't make me feel bad about this, when you're the only one who can make me feel alright with it."

I nod at her and look her straight in the eye. "I promise."

She says nothing else, removes her jacket and turns back into my house.

**Courtney POV**

I'm not sure what's going on. All I know is one minute Trent has to go to the studio, the next he's texting me to come over for something amazing.

Knowing Trent, something amazing means another new cord or lyric, but either way I don't mind. Hanging out at the studio is fun, especially when I get to add a few vocals into the tracks as well.

When I enter the recording booth Trent immediately lights up like a kid on Christmas morning. Whatever this is I can tell it's more than just another chord or lyric.

"You made it," he says excitedly.

I act cool and just shrug. "Well I got your text and figured it had to be something worthwhile."

Trent smiles real big and pulls me over to the control panel. "I think this will be more than worth your while.

He hits the play back button and for a second I expect to hear the re-workings of one of his old songs, but what I end up hearing completely catches me off guard. Yes the cords are familiar as well as the vocals, only their not Trent's, they're mine.

"When did you do this?" I ask recalling myself doing a few sound checks on the microphone. He has composed them all together along with my violin solo I performed once for him.

Trent smiles sincerely at me. "I thought it'd be a nice gift for you. You've really helped me out lately with my own music I just wanted you to hear how amazing you are."

My heart skips a beat at his words. No one has ever said something so amazing about me before and coming from someone as talented and gifted as Trent is just an honor. No not even an honor, a pleasure.

He's such an amazing person; he's probably one of the best friends I could ask for. I can't believe I never noticed him sooner when we first met. Perhaps I took him for granted as someone not important, now I could never see myself taking someone as great as him for granted ever again. As cruel as it is for me to think this, I'm actually glad Gwen let him go, or else who knows where I would be right now.

"Thank you so much Trent," I say still entranced by the thought of the gift. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me."

"Well you deserve it," says Trent sheepishly.

"No I don't," I say approaching him closer. "You deserve a lot better of a friend than me, and yet here you are doing so much for me. I wish there was some way I could repay you."

Trent looks at me again and it's when I realize just how close we are. Instead of feeling awkward about it… I actually feel comfortable, almost like is natural.

"Well you already repaid me," he says leaving me confused. "I'm going to have my own track released soon. It's all the new songs you helped me complete. I don't think I could've written anything better."

I immediately jump up in excitement and wrap my arms around him. He did it, he wrote the music he always wanted to and now it was going to be enjoyed by so many people. I don't think I've ever been more excited about someone else's success. Seeing Trent happy alone does something for me that I never thought could.

I pull back slightly and look up at Trent and his pale green eyes. Neither one of speak for awhile until he finally says. "Thanks Courtney."

I smile at him wanting to say than you back, but words just don't seem to be enough at this point. So instead I let my instinct take over and lean forward and place a tender kiss on his lips. It was suppose to be a small, quick, nothing of a kiss, but somehow Trent's lips ended up kissing me back with more passion than I expected, and although my head was telling me I wasn't ready for this, something in my heart told me I was.

_You're a romantic. You have a lyrical soul. You can love under the best and worst conditions._

_Drew Barymore, "__Fever Pitch__"_


	10. Chapter 9: Jumper

A/N: Yay! I really enjoyed doing the Courtney and Trent hook up last chapter and am hoping I can do good justice to this next chapter. No I won't be all Duncan and Gwen but it will be all characters. I want to give everyone a fair share of this story and hope I'm doing a good job of just that. I'm hoping Gwen will get a little more time in this because I personally feel her character needs more room to develop. So here we go!

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Chapter 9: Jumper

_I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,__  
__You could cut ties with all the lies,__  
__That you've been living in,__  
__And if you do not want to see me again,__  
__I would understand_

**Courtney POV**

I can honestly admit to myself that I would've been fine never falling in love. I never really wanted to know about love the way most girls do. I had many other things in my future to look forward to and never felt the loneliness in a quest for fulfillment or completion. If I needed anything it could be found in me and not someone else.

Duncan had changed a lot of that.

Something about his very presence made me feel more alone than ever, to the point of loneliness and I found myself in need of someone else's appreciation and attention. It grew even stronger when I thought he had something-close-to care and love for me and I wanted as much of that as he could give. What was worse was I started to feel those things right back.

I think the worst part of breaking up with him was the feeling as though I would never be the same. In a way I'm not. I'm better, stronger and smarter now knowing what to look out for and what to not let myself get caught up in again.

I'm not sure why, but I feel safe with Trent. I feel like if this thing between us, whatever that was, wouldn't break my heart. That Trent was good enough a guy who would continue to be kind with me and maybe even care.

I know he still cares for Gwen, even if he doesn't love her anymore it's actually nice to know a guy who can be that way with his ex's.

It didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would, if anything else I expected it to happen right away. I knew as soon as Duncan got the chance he would make his move on Gwen and try to forget about me as fast as possible.

What's crazier is I feel like I forgot about him faster. Trent was being such a great friend and showing me such a great time that I hadn't had a single thought of Duncan until I saw him in the restaurant. I'm surprised he took Gwen to_ my_ favorite restaurant. He probably thought he could be real smug and show me how much he didn't miss me by being with the girl he was attracted to so much. However it didn't make one difference to me, and surprisingly it didn't seem to make a difference to Trent either. Duncan thought he was the one who moved on? He was sadly mistaken when Trent and I went over to them and I stared Duncan down, daring him to say he wasn't upset with the fact that I had moved on. Duncan's look pretty much said it all, I knew he was mad and I know he's still not over it.

In a really sick way it kind of makes me happy, simply because I already know how selfish and egotistical Duncan can be when it comes to women, but mostly I pity him. I may have never really liked Gwen, but she is a good person and she probably would be better for Duncan in the long run because she can relate to him better, but Duncan doesn't even really know what he wants yet. He thinks he can have everything the easy way.

But I'm not an easy kind of girl; I'm a strong-minded woman who expects a lot in a relationship. At first I believed Duncan could handle it, but I was wrong and I hope he can grow up and just be in a good relationship eventually. As much as Duncan hurt me, I do want him to be happy, I'm not as heartless as I seem, and if I wanted to be truly honest with myself I could admit that I still loved him enough to want him to be happy. But I no longer love him enough to put up with his bullshit.

"You ok?"

Trent looks at me concerned for the third time. I know he keeps waiting for me to say something, but my mind isn't in the right place to say something appropriate for the situation.

Right now we're sitting on his couch with his arm around my shoulder and my back pressed against his chest. It's nice and comfortable and yet I can't seem to pull my mind away from Duncan. I need to remind myself that the break up was still recent and I just need time to get over it. I really don't want to spoil the night with Trent, especially after the wonderful gift he gave me.

"I'm fine, I guess I'm just trying to soak everything in right now."

Trent nods as if he understands, but I can tell there's some worry in his eyes, worry that my kissing him was a mistake on my part.

I pat his leg assuredly. "I don't mean the kiss Trent, the kiss was wonderful, it just brought up some other thoughts in the back of my head."

I wish I could be a little less blunt with people, I can tell it hurts their feelings, but I've never been less than completely honest and I'm not going to pretend with Trent that my break up with Duncan doesn't still hurt when it does.

I don't believe moving on means you don't feel hurt anymore, you just learn to accept it and find something better. If anything I don't believe in forgetting, if you chose to forget something then what can you learn?

Trent clears his throat and looks down at my hand, which is entangled with his. "I guess I can't blame you, hell I even know what you're going through, but why did you kiss me exactly?"

I bite my lower lip and try to form a proper answer, there really isn't one, there are so many reasons and so many feelings and thoughts, I just don't want this be complicated.

**Trent POV**

I'm not sure how this whole thing suddenly turned complicated but it has. I really did want to do something nice for Courtney and show how much I've appreciated her help and company. Yet the kiss caught me off guard.

I didn't really give a romantic relationship much thought simply because I didn't think she felt that way about me, so I didn't even allow myself to entertain such thoughts.

But now that a possibility has opened up, I can't help but feel excited and apprehensive at the same time.

Courtney is a wonderful girl, yet the whole thing with Duncan leaves me concerned. I can tell she's not fully over him and I don't want to become the better option just because I really like her and because she's still hurting from the break up and just needs someone. Yes it's nice to be needed, but I needed to know that I was wanted too.

"I just…"

She's trying to answer my question about the kiss.

"I just **wanted** to Trent."

I smile fondly at her and tighten my hold around her delicate fingers and place a small kiss on her shoulder while whispering out, "Good."

Duncan POV

I can't help but wonder if I might be rushing this. I've wanted Gwen like a bad itch for a while now, and now that I have her the whole thing seems so surreal.

I continue to stroke Gwen's back while trying to rationalize things in my head. There is no need to feel like I'm rushing or forcing anything. It's not like we had slept together yet, she just stayed the night. I know I want Gwen very much… but a part of me feels like I still need Courtney, or at least need her to want me back.

I'd hate to think myself that egotistical, but I do know that I can't stand the fact that she had moved on from me so damn fast. Sure I hadn't been the best boyfriend in the world, but I certainly didn't think I'd been the worse one either.

What's that girl's deal?

Is Trent really that great a guy or is she just using him to get back at me? It actually wouldn't surprise me if she was capable of doing that, but the way she was with Trent didn't seem the least bit played out or fake.

Trent's a good guy and all, but what the fuck does he have that I don't? Besides sappy taste in music.

I need to stop thinking about this, Gwen's already waking up and I don't want to spoil the day with a whole replay of "Why are our ex's suddenly together?"

I settle back down next to her and wrap an arm around her delicate body. "Sleep well?"

She hums to herself and nods. She can be so damn cute sometimes.

"What's your deal? Couldn't sleep or something."

Damn it, she knows I've been up awhile. I shrug acting like it's no big deal.

"Just thinking about some things."

"Like us?" she asks hopefully.

I don't want to tell her I've mostly been thinking about Courtney and Trent. I know Gwen wants this to work out, for us to have a serious relationship. But the way Courtney blew me off has kind of left a bad taste in my mouth for serious relationships. I just need her to be patient with me.

"Just all kinds of stuff," I reply not answering her question. I can tell she's disappointed as her smile falls into a small frown. I want so badly to make her happy, but I'm not going to change myself, I've tried it once already with Courtney and it didn't work.

Gwen gets over things much faster than most girls; she simply yawns and starts to get up. "I should get dressed, I need to go get some art supplies for a project."

I nod and get up myself kissing her on the cheek. "I'll see you later then, I have something I've got to do."

She raises an eyebrow and looks at me curiously. "Yeah? Like what?"

I smile coyly at her and kiss her one last time on the forehead. "Nothing for you to worry about, let's just say it's a surprise."

She smiles brightly at me and I get myself together preparing to do something to set things in motion for the both of us.

**Gwen POV**

I walk down to the local art supply store in a rather good mood. I'm not going to rush things with Duncan, I'm going to take things slow and let what happens happen. I'm very hopeful for this relationship.

Even though I feel like I'm still moving on from Trent, I can tell Duncan has some moving on to do as well, I feel like the both of us being in this situation will actually help us move along faster.

I stop walking so immediately I almost fall over; right next to my favorite art store is a coffee shop which has none other than Courtney sitting on the outside patio.

I consider waiting until she leaves but she looks like she's comfortable writing something down in a notebook. I feel like the world is against me, but it could be that the world is telling me that I should stop avoiding her and just face her already. Courtney was a huge part of Duncan's life, weather I like it or not I have to accept it.

Maybe confronting her will give me some more clarity, perhaps she even needs some of her own.

I take a deep breath and stride up to her, the sound of my heavy boots gets her attention, she looks up at me with some annoyance but I can tell she's willing to talk to me as she sets down her pen.

"Hi," she says curtly.

"Hi," I say back nervously. I twiddle my thumbs a bit trying to find my words. "I just wanted to say I had no intention of being with Duncan while he was still with you, I honestly didn't think he even felt that way about me. But now that you two are broken up I just want you to know that I'm going to try to make it work with him."

She looks at me like an annoyed parent would a misbehaving kid. "So what do you want Gwen? My blessing?"

I exhale loudly getting a little frustrated by her cynicism. "I'm not asking for anything from you, I just felt like you should know where I stand. I'm not out to get you or anything, I know you must hate me but…"

"I don't hate you," Courtney sighs rolling her eyes. "I just wish Duncan had been more honest with his feelings instead of springing on me the fact that he likes you so much, I really loved him."

"He loved you too," I say feeling the need to protect Duncan.

Courtney snorts at my comment and shakes her head. "He never loved me, he might've gotten close but…" Courtney closes her eyes and I can clearly see the hurt on her face. "You might have a better chance with him, but don't hold your breath."

Her blunt remark stabs right though my heart, I don't want to believe her but she was with him longer and more romantically than I was. She looks up at me ready to say something else which makes me even more nervous.

"But I wish you all the best Gwen."

Her last statement takes me completely off guard. I didn't know Courtney was capable of actually being so nice and forgiving. I almost forget how to react at all as she starts gathering her things and preparing to leave. There is one last thing I need to confront her about.

"This thing with Trent…" she looks up at me, the one taken off guard this time. "Are you two... getting serious?"

Courtney raises her eyebrows and bites her lower lip. "Well not that it's any of your business, but yes. I'm hoping to start something new with him."

I nod a bit frazzled by her answer, it's just odd imagining Trent with Courtney. "I know it's not my place," I say a bit more confidently. "But please be good to him, he's a nice guy."

Courtney looks off, slightly dreamy. "Yes he is." She smiles at me once and it gives me a comforting feeling to now think of the two of them together.

I smile back at her as she walks away, somehow I feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I have no need to wonder if Trent misses me not, it doesn't even bother me if he doesn't, and I finally understand what he sees in Courtney.

_Ross: You're over me? When were you under me?_

_-Friends_


	11. Chapter 10: Saltwater Room

A/N: I don't see Duncan and Gwen as the typical romantic couple but I tried my best to make it work. So sorry for not updating this story in forever. New full time job with full time bitches.

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Chapter 10: Saltwater Room

_Time together is just never quite enough_

_When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?_

_What will it take to make or break this hint of love?_

_So tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love?_

**Dunan POV**

It's strange yet comforting that things fall so easily into place with Gwen. There's so much we connect on together, so much we understand with one another, and so many experiences we both look forward too.

The closeness we have with each other is so effortless that for the first time I don't focus all my attention on my own benefits, and instead focus all my energy in Gwen.

Maybe that's where I went wrong with Courtney in the first place. With her it was all about the game, the hunt, and what I could get out of it in the end.

It isn't like that with Gwen. She let's anything that happens happen, there isn't resistance or fighting, just a welcome invite for all possibilities.

I can already tell I'm falling way too fast for her, I don't want to do that. I really want this to work and not just jump into the next best thing. At the same time I need to let Gwen know that I'm ready to take it to the next level, so hopefully this gets through to her.

"Dude you suck at this."

I rolled my eyes annoyed at Geoff and already regretting bringing him along.

"Would you just shut up and help me." I figured if anyone knew about this crappy romantic stuff it would be Geoff. He was the only one who could seem to make him relationship last. Then again Bridgette isn't all that hard to impress, the guy was unusually down to earth like her.

Geoff wasn't trouble like me and not insecure like Trent. Maybe that was just the problem with all guys, they didn't know how to be comfortable with themselves around girls.

"I really don't think she needs any more art supplies dude, she probably has plenty of that stuff." He had a point, besides I didn't even know what type of paint or pencils Gwen used and there was too much to choose from.

"What about a CD or something," I asked suddenly getting desperate.

"Too easy and not romantic enough," Geoff said all too knowingly.

"This is such bullshit!" I said finally getting upset.

"Dude chill, we'll find something," Geoff said optimistically as we left the art store.

"This is supposed to be easy, it's not like she's Cou- like other girls." I kick myself mentally for thinking of Courtney, I really need to stop doing that.

"Hey c'mon man, it's never easy the first time. Remember the first time I tried impressing Bridgette?"

Oh god that awful coin tray he sculpted for her practically ruined everything for him in one day. "You're lucky she didn't take out a restraining order on you."

Geoff just chuckles as if I made a joke when really I'm being serious. Courtney told me Bridgette actually considered it when she first saw that god awful present.

"All I'm saying is you gotta give it time bro."

I know Geoff is just trying to be a supportive friend, but it still doesn't make me any less nervous. It's not like it was with Courtney when everything I tried to do was resisted the whole time. Gwen is actually inviting to any advances I choose to make and it makes me paranoid that I'm going to royally screw up and scare her off the way Trent did.

Geoff is right, if I just give it time, maybe something good will come out of this. I rethink my earlier plan and motion Geoff back to my place. "Let's get out of here, I have a better idea."

**Gwen POV**

It's weird, I only just saw him this morning and already I miss him. The time I do get with him just isn't enough. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I need him 24/7, but when I'm not around him it's like I'm spending the whole day just waiting for when we're reunited.

This is where I always find myself in danger, I'm such a hopeless romantic at heart that I never stop to think logically. Duncan doesn't exactly scream prince charming; I need to be patient with him. Still it kills me not to know what he's thinking or feeling.

Is he thinking about me? Is he just as excited to see me at the end of the day like I am? Is he still thinking about Courtney? Does he still love her?

This sucks… I'm so hung up on my thoughts I can't even do a decent sketch or finish my painting. Instead I find myself doodling his name and adding cheesy hearts. Oh man do I have it bad.

I decide to give up and go home. My studio apartment has been serving me some good use for my art. I feel free to create in my own personal space, but ever since Duncan came around it just feels empty without him, so I've been trying to do work at the local community college, but it's still useless. It's also discouraging when other artists seem to be able to finish their artwork so effortlessly.

I sigh heavily trying to calm myself. I shouldn't be falling this fast this soon for Duncan. But I've wanted him so badly for some time and now that I have him it's like a bad addiction.

I drive home with my heart thumping loudly in my chest. I'm excited yet anxious about whatever it was he had surprised for me. If this surprise even is for me. Duncan isn't exactly the most romantic guy, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, I just hope I'm not putting pressure on Duncan to be someone he's not.

I unlock my door and the first thing I see is Duncan's back to me leaning over the kitchen table.

"What are you doing?" Duncan jumps up startled by my presence.

"Damn! Don't do that!" He sighs clutching his chest.

"I live here," I say trying not to laugh at him.

I set down my portfolio and walk over to the table to an amateur cooked dinner. "Grill cheese?"

Duncan shrugs his shoulders. "Sue me, it's the only thing I can cook."

I smile and take one of the sandwiches. "Good thing I'm hungry."

He grabs my hand and leads me to the couch where I see a gift wrapped in newspaper sitting on the coffee table. "Is this for me?"

"No it's for your mom, of course it's for you."

I punch him once on the shoulder before unwrapping the gift. As soon as I see it my heart melts.

A copy of Duncan's favorite shirt with the skull on it is in my hands, only the shirt is different. It's my size and the skull is more feminine with a pink bow tie on the top of the cranium.

"Awe Duncan," I'm trying not to get all sappy about the gift but I can't help it either.

Duncan looks relived as a hug the shirt closely to my chest. "I was hoping for that reaction," he says scooting closer to me.

"I don't know what to say," I half sigh, half giggle. I want so badly to put it on. It's like a way of showing everyone _yeah I'm with him. _

"Say that you'll wear it and that you're my girl." Duncan starts moving his fingers along the bare of my arm. My skin suddenly feels warm and tingling.

I blush madly at him before saying, "You want me to be your girl?"

He smiles devilishly at me before kissing me deeply. I pull him close to me feeling an overwhelming burst of happiness blooming in me.

Our kiss gets more heated as Duncan starts pushing my shirt up. "Let's put my shirt on you."

I feel a tinge of embarrassment as my pale white skin goes bright red all over my naked torso. Duncan contains himself as he helps me slip the shirt over my body, all the while biting his bottom lip.

I bring him close to me again for more heated kissing. It was the perfect gift for a perfect beginning of a relationship.

**Duncan POV**

Thank god for gifts. How else could I tell her I wanted her, and possibly even fall in love with her. I might not be good at this stuff the way Trent was, but no one can appreciate Gwen as much as I do, especially in this shirt.

_Love is a gift. You can't buy it, you can't find it, someone has to give it to you. _

_-Kurt Langer_

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__I have some time off coming up soon and I hope I can give you guys a decent amount of chapters before completely disappearing again. I really appreciate seeing people still favoriting this story even when I've been gone for so long. But it has inspired me to keep continuing so stay tuned and i promise to update again soon.


	12. Chapter 11: Cool

Chapter 11: Cool

_It's hard to remember how it felt before_

_Now I found the love of my life…_

_Passes things get more comfortable_

_Everything is going right_

**Trent POV**

I really hope she doesn't get mad, it's surprising how easy it is to make her mad, but I'm not one to go back on my promises. Besides I don't hate Gwen, I still consider her my friend, after everything that has happened though I can't just go to Gwen's art show and not consider Courtney's feelings.

"No,"

Well I should've seen that coming.

"Why not?" I ask calmly.

She glances up at me but doesn't stop doing what she's doing, she's filling out a dozen college applications and labeling a bunch of side projects like her college essays and transcripts.

"Trent it's not like I'm saying you can't go, you can go if you want to, I don't care. But I've got way too much to do to attend some tacky art gallery." She seems done with the conversation but I can't help but push it a little further.

"So you don't have a problem with the fact that Gwen is going to be there and that most of her work will be on display?" I say this as cautiously as I can, Courtney's not exactly the kind of girl afraid to throw a book or pencil at my eye.

She sighs loudly finally looking up at me. "Should it bother me? You're the one making a big deal out of this."

I sit next to her and put my hand on her knee. "I just want you to go with me 'cause I want to know that we can all be in the same room without trying to kill each other."

Courtney finally puts her pencil down and crosses her arms. "You're not worried about me and Gwen, you're worried about me and Duncan."

Damn is it that obvious?

""Well… Should I be?"

Courtney scoots closer to me, wrapping her arms around me and putting her legs in my lap. "You don't have a thing to worry about, what's in the past is in the past and I'm with a much better, and much sexier man anyway." She kisses my cheek softly and it immediately makes me feel better.

**Courtney POV**

I wasn't lying when I told Trent he had nothing to worry about, I would never resort to going back to Duncan for any reason, and I've made my peace with Gwen, but I can't completely promise there will be no fight between Duncan and I.

The last time I saw Duncan I could tell he was pissed off that I was with Trent. Its natural instinct for Duncan and I to fight, even before we were together, that was how we interacted. I just hope a simple fight between the two of us doesn't result in a fight between all four of us.

"So are you going to come or not?" Trent asks one final time.

I roll my eyes and seriously consider saying no. but Trent being by himself with Gwen and Duncan… A slightly protective side of me swells up and I end up saying, "I'll go."

Trent hugs me while I keep repeating in my head to be on my best behavior, of course I know that's easier said than done.

**Gwen POV**

I can't decide if I'm excited or nervous. My nerves are not only going crazy because of the art show, But with Duncan being here with me as my boyfriend and Trent my ex boyfriend showing up with Courtney as his new girlfriend who is Duncan's ex…. Yeah I'm nervous.

"You cool?" asked Duncan placing a steady hand on my back.

I nod at him and force out a small smile. "I'm ok, it's all just so surreal."

Duncan nodded a lot more calm and collected than I was. I asked him somewhat seriously if he was going to do anything like punch Trent in the face, he only laughed at me thinking that I was joking.

My stomach does a slight flutter as we enter the gallery where people are already gathered and discussing art.

I feel slightly out of place with so many formal dressed people, I tried my best to look the part by pulling my hair back and putting on a long black dress, provided it has skull designs on it.

I do however notices a few art students dressed similar to me and feel more at ease. Even Duncan dressed up to support me, wearing a blazer jacket and formal dress pants. I never would've thought Duncan would buy clothes like that.

A few art and history professors approach Duncan and I and commend me for my paintings. I can barely even hear what they're saying as the blood rushes to my head and has my pale skin turning red from embarrassment.

My heart picks up speed when I feel Duncan pull away from me.

"Where are you going," I whisper to him in a panicked voice.

He gives me an assuring smile as he whispers back, "You're doing fine babe, I just need a drink." He kisses me on the cheek and excuses himself.

I turn back nervously to my critics trying to keep my cool and wondering when Courtney and Trent are going to show up.

**Duncan POV**

I decided to leave Gwen by herself with her fans since its clear how much they adore her and want to congratulate her. She really does deserve it with how hard she always works on her art, not to mention how amazing it is.

I'm not a poetic guy in any sense so I wouldn't know how to describe Gwen's art other than _different_.

I order a drink at the bar and prepare to go back and rescue Gwen from any further embarrassment when someone catches my eye.

She isn't facing me but she doesn't have to be. I'm still so familiarized with her skin tone, her soft hair, and confident posture. It's what she's wearing that's unfamiliar to me. She's wearing a long wavy dress with pastel colors and bright gemstones. Her upper back is exposed as well as her shoulders and arms.

I'm at a loss for words when she turns around and looks at me slightly amused and surprised.

"Well gee, I thought you said you would die before ever wearing that outfit."

What? Oh my outfit! How did I forget she was the one who bought this for me? I shrug a little embarrassed.

"Guess I could never find the right occasion."

She nods rolling her eyes obviously not believing me. "Well you picked the right occasion, Gwen's artwork is rather impressive." She turns back to the painting she had been admiring and gives it a thoughtful critique. "It's dark and scary, yet soft and gentle. It stirs up a lot of deep emotions."

She turns back to me and sighs. "She should be proud of herself."

"I think she's more embarrassed than anything else," I say with a smile.

Courtney smiles back and even chuckles. "Yeah, that sounds like Gwen, always humble."

I still can't help but study her. Since when did Courtney get so colorful and vibrant? There was also something more calm and relaxed about her. I wasn't sure exactly how to place my finger on it until I saw Trent coming up to her with a similar easiness.

"Hey Duncan," said Trent holding out his hand.

"Hey man," I said shaking it in return. I noticed Courtney watching me closely to make sure I wasn't trying to break it.

"I can't believe Gwen finally did it," Trent said looking around amazed.

"Yeah she's been working really hard to get this art show going. So far it seems to be a hit with everyone."

Trent wrapped his arm around Courtney and held her closely, I noticed how she sunk right into him looking so relaxed.

"Well I don't see why it wouldn't be, she's an amazing artist."

Courtney suddenly raised her glass, "And there's the star of the evening now."

I glanced behind me and noticed Gwen had just walked up to us wrapping her arm around my back for support. "What's going on?" she asked still jittery.

"We were just celebrating your success," said Courtney with no sarcasm in her voice.

Again Gwen just dismissed the compliments. "It's just an art show."

"C'mon Gwen be excited," said Trent enthusiastically. "I remember when you were working on half these paintings after Total Drama and how frustrated you were that you'd never get them finished."

It's somewhat awkward thinking about how Trent was there when Gwen started most of these paintings, but then again it's not like Trent is rubbing it in my face. It's actually nice to see how happy he is for Gwen.

"Yeah, remember when I almost threw away that one," laughed Gwen pointing to the painting behind him and Courtney.

Courtney looked at Gwen shocked. "I'm glad you didn't, I really like it."

"Yeah right," said Gwen disbelievingly.

"No really Gwen, I think it's…. Haunting."

Gwen actually looked speechless for a moment. Not that I blame her, who knew Courtney and Gwen could actually have the potential to be friends.

"Thanks Courtney," said Gwen truly accepting a compliment.

"You should also be commended for getting Duncan to finally wear that outfit."

I go very still, not believing that she brought that up.

"What do you mean?" asked Gwen not fully understanding.

Courtney suddenly looks a little embarrassed herself. "Oh, I bought that outfit for Duncan a while ago but he refused to wear it."

Gwen looks at me for an explanation but I don't really have one. Instead Gwen just shrugs and says. "I honestly didn't even know he had it. I was just as shocked as you were when he showed up dressed like this."

For some reason I feel as though an impending sense of doom or heavy silence is going to show up and royally fuck up the whole night, but instead Courtney smiles and puts an assuring hand on Gwen's.

"Well I'm glad he got all dressed up for you. It would've been embarrassing for you if your boyfriend showed up in ripped up jeans and a ratty old t-shirt," she says jokingly giving me a playful eye.

"Oh your one to talk miss preppy," I joke back with her. "Tell me Trent how did you mange to make her wear something besides all grey."

Trent just chuckles at my response at squeezes Courtney closer to him. 'Actually she bought this dress for herself yesterday."

Again I can only look at her surprised.

"Well I think you should wear colors more often Courtney," says Gwen admiring the dress. "It really suits you."

The night continues with the four of us talking and looking through the rest of the gallery. All the while old memories are brought up that should've made things uncomfortable but didn't, and all the while I was waiting for the old Courtney to show up, but she never did. It made me happy and worried at the same time.

"_Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again." -Bikram Choudhury_

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A/N: Oh my god, I haven't written in so long, my fingers are starting to ache. So everyone seems to be comfortable with where they are at now, but how long will it last? Stay tuned!


	13. Chapter 12: Love is a Losing Game

A/N: Sweet Jesus I'm back! Sorry, been working like nuts and have been completely tired for a while. It's been a very long hiatus with all my writing and my art stuff, but I've recently tried getting back in it because it something that makes me happy and I've been stressed out over a job I'm not going to keep forever and people treating me as though I should be doing something more with my life. Needless to say glad to have told those people to fuck off and just let myself be happy with the luck of even having a job, the best boyfriend in the world and the awesome readers of this website. Thank you guys! For all your patience I hope providing a lot of extra chapters this time around makes up for neglecting this story.

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Chapter 12: Loving is a Losing Game

_Over futile odds_

_And laughed at by the gods_

_And now the final frame_

_Love is a losing game_

**Duncan POV**

Im surprised that through all the bullshit the four of us managed to be peaceful. Me, Courtney, Gwen and Trent, shockingly able to act decent despite the odd break-ups and match-ups between all four of us. Talk about surreal, if only the camera's had gotten footage of this action, I'm sure there would be even more crazy ass fans eating it all up.

It didn't surprise me to see Trent at Gwen's art gallery, only a guy like Trent would still be so supportive of an ex-girlfriend, it's amazing the guy gets girlfriends at all when he's constantly putting himself in the friend-zone. Still I suppose its better that Gwen has a friend in an ex rather than some asshole trying to wreck her life.

What was amazing was Courtney showing up and the change in her whole personality. I have no doubt she mostly went to protect Trent from the possibility of a confrontation with me. She had her eyes on me like a hawk when I simply shook his hand.

It was also impressive how she let down her guard with Gwen and actually got deep and personal with her. I know with Courtney it can be challenging to open up to others, or maybe Trent just makes it easier for her.

I can't explain why it is that I can't get the night out of my head, it's not like I should be analyzing everything that happened and trying to make sense of it. I should be thankful that things are the way they are, yet somehow it all seems a bit unnatural, even if it's a nice change, it's still a change.

It's still a little hard seeing Courtney in a new element. I had loved and hated who she use to be, now I don't know how to feel about her. It's either been one extreme over the other with her, but I was always sure of what it was I was feeling, now I'm just confused.

I shouldn't worry about my feelings for Courtney when I had Gwen fully and happily to myself. It's amazing to be with someone who can so easily understand you and not make it a constant chore to feel comfortable around.

It's never hard for us to find things to do together, nor is it complicated to find things to talk about. I can't recall ever having this much fun with a girl. It's nice to be in a relationship with my best friend.

Even being as mixed up as I am with my thoughts on Courtney I do hope she has found the same in Trent.

**Courtney POV**

I really am happy with how composed I was with Duncan and Gwen the other night. It was weird actually taking control of my emotions when before they flew out rampant on Duncan. I'm sure it was a relief for him and something unexpected.

It wasn't easy being as natural as I tried to be. The first thing I wanted to do when I saw Duncan was pick a fight over the damn clothes I had gotten him and how he was finally able to wear them now that he was with Gwen.

It practically hurt my feelings in a real selfish way, knowing that the way I wanted Duncan to be with me, only came naturally when he was with Gwen.

I almost wanted to ask "What's wrong with me?" to him, but I didn't want to open up that can of worms. Especially with Trent there, already suspicious that there was unfinished business between me and Duncan.

I didn't want anyone seeing me in that way anymore. So I made a firm decision to act softer and kinder and to push aside the slight swell of resentment in me.

I don't want to be jealous of Gwen, I've always been a self-assured person, confident in who I am, but I can't help but think it was Gwen who broke up with Trent… not the other way around, and it was Duncan who left me for her.

It makes me scared to enter a relationship with Trent, it makes me insecure to think he might start to see me the way Duncan did over time. Would he compare me to Gwen and realize she's somehow better girlfriend material?

Was I really so controlling and hostile that I scared off men, even the ones who loved me?

As much as I had enjoyed the night at Gwen's art gallery, it had made me insecure, I never felt that way until now. It worries me how much I'm changing being with Trent, I'm not sure if I like it.

**Gwen POV**

I know Duncan and Trent are happy that everything went well at the art show, but there's a slight uneasiness in me concerning Courtney.

It's not that she was just polite, she was great, she was warm and inviting, but there was something awkward in her eyes.

It's something women can sense in each other, the oddness and insecurity playing out in friendliness. I've known Courtney to be a lot of things, but insecure isn't one of them. The kindness was being forced to cover up for something else she wanted to express. At first I found it nice to see that Courtney could be in control of her emotions, and then it made me fearful of what it was she was insecure about.

Was it Trent? Duncan? Possibly me?

It really is none of my business, yet I still can't help but wonder what it is, and why Trent can't see it. When I was with Trent he could read all my emotions and make me feel better whenever something was wrong without me having to tell him.

Was he so happy to be in a relationship again that he couldn't realize when things weren't right anymore?

Maybe I'm over thinking it all, but for whatever reason I just can't shake the feeling that all this peacefulness isn't going to last.

"Off in dream land there?"

Duncan's voice snaps me out of it and makes me realize I've been sitting in front of a painting that's a long way from being finished. It doesn't help that I've been sitting there for so long in la-la land that the paint on my paint brush has dried.

I curse and rinse off the brush in my bucket of water. "Guess I'm just distracted is all," I reply not looking at him, I don't want to share my thoughts of Courtney with him, he'll think I'm being paranoid and start to worry that I can't let his past relationship with her go.

It really isn't that, I really am worried about her. That night at the art gallery made me realize we could've possibly been friends had things worked out differently.

Duncan looks at me closely with a knitted brow. "Is everything ok?"

I smile weakly at him and nod my head.

"You know you suck at lying," Duncan sets aside his motorcycle magazine and walks over to me.

"It really isn't anything serious, I'm just over thinking," I say lamely.

Duncan starts rubbing my shoulders and leans down to kiss my neck. "Perhaps I can help take your mind off things," he says mischievously.

I elbow him playfully accidentally getting paint on my shirt. "The only thing you're doing is getting my clothes dirty."

I start rubbing the paint off my shirt with some paper towel until Duncan hoists me over his shoulder and carries me into the bedroom with me laughing and protesting. "Why do you always do this when I'm working on a new project?"

Duncan nuzzles my neck playfully which sends shivers down my body. "Cause you always look so sexy covered in paint."

I let my mind focus on Duncan and away from Courtney. This isn't a reality show anymore, real life is always more complicated than TV makes it look. I need to stop worrying about all the past baggage and focus on the future, and right now that includes Duncan.

**Trent POV**

Courtney lays into my shoulder as we watch a movie together and for some reason I feel like there is tension in the air.

At first I think that I'm only imagining it until I look closely at her face and realize she seem worried and stressed.

If there's one thing I've learned with Courtney it's that it's best to get things out in the open as soon as possible otherwise she'll let it build up and explode. I grab the remote and immediately pause the movie.

"Trent? What the hell?" she snaps.

I arch an eyebrow at her and wait patiently for her to calm down first.

"Are you ok Courtney? And please don't say you are, because there's obviously something going on."

Courtney rolls her eyes annoyed and crosses her arms. "I don't need to tell you everything that's wrong with me Trent. I mean god forbid you see every bad side of me and I scare you off, we wouldn't want that to happen would we?"

Where is all this coming from? Is she thinking that I'm going to leave her or something? "Um, Courtney I think I've seen all your sides since being on a TV show with you, and I think I still love you all the same."

Her cheeks turn pink slightly and she smiles at me shyly. "I like it when you say you love me, but I think I'm also a little worried how long it's going to last."

This time I roll my eyes at her and pull her into my lap. She rests her head against my shoulder and holds me tightly. I kiss her forehead and say, "No matter what happens between us, I will always care about you and be there for you. I would never hurt you Courtney. I know that I want you in my life and will do whatever it takes to make it work."

She looks up at me thoughtfully. "Even with all the baggage and drama?"

Again I just roll my eyes and kiss her softly on the mouth. "I love you for who you are, nothing less. Don't ever worry about being yourself around me. We don't have cameras or audiences in front of us anymore, don't hold anything back."

She smile confidently at me and hugs me tightly. "You really know how to sweet talk."

I chuckle at her and give her a reassuring hug. I can tell there is still some doubt in her about my feelings for her, but I'm not about to give up. I want to show Courtney how much I'm willing to put in this relationship. I just hope eventually she sees all the effort and stops letting her past burns weigh on her mind.

Suddenly it hits me that she has Duncan and Gwen's relationship on her mind, and that she's comparing them to us. I don't know why, but for some reason that bothers me a lot.

_It's good to have an empty space,_

_that way emotions that overflow have somewhere to go._

_-My Dad_


	14. Chapter 13: Everything You Want

Chapter 13: Everything You Want

_You're waiting for someone _

_To put you together_

_You're waiting for someone to push you away_

_There's always another wound to discover_

_There's always something more you wish he'd say_

**Courtney POV**

There's something to be said when you have too much in common with someone. You bore each other when you spend too much time together and inevitably you start to upset and annoy one another simply because every common thing becomes too routine and uninteresting. Then of course there's the big blow out led to the big break up.

I never believed that would happen with Duncan and I, We were already so different I felt our similarities brought us closer and closer together and if we did ever reach the stage of boredom we were both creative enough to keep things fun and exciting.

I know that vanity and passion dies out with every relationship, it's when real love can show through and you get to see if that person still wants to be with you after the flaws an imperfections are shown.

The amazing thing with Trent is that all of his flaws are beautiful.

He is absolutely the most considerate boyfriend, he loves me for all the crap I put him through, and he's proven to me in more than one way that he wants to be with me. It has completely taken away all doubts and insecurity I had before.

However things have been so perfect between us these last couple of weeks and of course I had to find a problem.

It's more of a concern than anything else, for all of the "I love you" Trent constantly says to me, I realize I have yet to say it once…

He's the perfect man, the absolute best boyfriend I've had and care so much about…So why don't I love him? Why, every time I think of the words and the feelings it represents I feel numb?

Why, when I think of our future, it's always blurry? Why would he do anything and all for me when I feel I would always hesitate?

I like being with Trent, I really like our relationship, I've been happier more than ever, I didn't think I'd have trouble falling in love with someone like him, yet my feelings haven't gone any deeper than an attraction and comfortable stability.

Maybe I'm still not as secure as I use to be, maybe I'm still having problems adjusting to the change…

I know what it's like to fall in love, to want a future with someone, to be willing to do anything for someone else, to feel as though you can't be without them in your lives. Why am I having trouble feeling that again?

"You're over thinking it honey," I figured my mom would say that when I called her. She is always the voice of reason. "You just got out of a serious relationship with your first love. The second time around is going to take more time, it's not going to seem as easy."

I fiddled with the mail I had just received from one of the universities I applied to. This one was my top, I had already received a rejection letter from my back-up and one acceptance letter from my second- most favorite school. The one I had yet to open defined it all, if I got accepted I could start the upcoming semester training to be a lawyer.

It was one of the best schools for law studies not to mention a lot of their students went to the best graduate schools and got the most job offers from some of the best law firms in the country.

I had to get in, I just had to.

"But mom, I feel guilty that he feels so strongly for me and I'm only half way there."

_Open it, _my head screamed.

"Courtney, sometimes some people fall in love faster than others, it's not unusual for it to be that way in a relationship. Your father had to chase me for the longest time for me to even go on a date with him."

I smile thoughtfully. My parents were opposites in a lot of ways, yet still loved each other in such a committed and deep way.

"So it's nothing I should worry about?" I asked into the receiver still fiddling with the letter.

I hear my mom set something down, preparing to give me a serious word of advice. "Honey, try to be patient. He's a nice and honest man who is looking after you and being supportive. If you find over time that there's still something missing, just move on respectively and be thankful for having had the chance to know him."

I smile feeling less worried about my feelings for Trent.

"Well mom, that's not the only reason I called…"

I hear my mom gasp excitedly. "Did it finally arrive?"

My mom had always been so supportive and excited about me being a lawyer She had also known about my school applications and that I had one more to go before I decided where to go.

"I have it in my hand right now, but I'm too nervous to open it," I say staring at my name on the envelope.

"Child, if you don't open that letter right now, I'm driving over there and opening it myself," my mom threatened.

I giggle before taking a deep breath and tearing it open. "OK, you ready for it?"

"Yes, now hurry up and read it," she says impatiently.

My stomach dances as I unfolded the letter and begin to read.

**Trent POV**

Courtney got into her top university. That's why it sucked to deliver her the bad news right after she told me.

"No!" she yelled as soon as I told her. "Screw that, I'm not doing it. They can't make me."

I sighed and rubbed my neck nervously. "Technically we have no choice, it was in the contract."

Courtney threw her hands in the air frustrated, I couldn't really blame her. On my way home from the studio I got a call from the producers of the Total Drama show requiring me to show up on a specific location for an update of the entire cast.

Courtney soon discovered a voicemail on her PDA telling her the same message of doom.

"This is freaking bullshit," she snapped angrily. "Chris expects everyone to drop whatever they're doing and show up to do an interview about something that I want to forget about."

I don't know why Courtney has so much resentment for Total Drama, it is after all where we met each other. It gave us exposure to do some amazing things. I don't think it was as bad as everyone thought it was.

"Court, it's all going to be fine, it will only last a few hours and it will all be over."

Courtney turned back to me looking unconvinced. "Trent, they are going to blow everything out of proportion like they always do. Do you honestly think they're going to let the two of us off the hook? They're probably going to bring Gwen and Duncan into the picture and try to have the four of us go at it."

Crap… I hadn't thought about the way the whole switch up would look to the public. Everyone was going to freak out, Chris was going to make the best out of it at our expense.

"Maybe we can make this better. After all it's not like we're committing any crimes. We're in love with each other plain and simple."

I really hope we're to that point where she's no longer comparing what we have to what Duncan and Gwen have. No relationship is ever the same from the last, I just wish she can see it for all the good it is and not be afraid to make that leap. I remind myself that Courtney has never actually expressed being in love with me yet, but I convince myself that there needs to be something there for her to still be here and willing to try.

Courtney just becomes silent and has an unreadable face. I just take her protectively in my arms and hold her. "Hey, let's not let this spoil your good news. You're going to be one of the best lawyers that school has ever seen."

It's natural for me to try to calm her down, every time she feels like the world is going to end I feel like it's my job to protect her. I feel her muscles relax and I immediately feel good in myself for being able to make her happy again. Even if she isn't fully committed yet I love her all the same, which is what also hurts to think of if she does decide to leave me.

Courtney sighs tiredly and hugs me back. "As soon as I graduate I'm going to sue Chris."

**Duncan POV**

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I feel a little bad for yelling it at the woman over the phone. It's not like she's the one forcing me to do this. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

The woman calmly finishes the last of her message waiting for me to reply. "Yeah whatever, I'll be there." I hang up the phone muttering one last curse word.

It was bad enough having to do a one on one interview with Chris, now he wants to talk to me and Courtney together.

I don't want to hear how happy she is or isn't with Trent. I don't want to talk about why we broke up and why I chose Gwen over her. I shouldn't have to do anything period, but I signed a contract and I have to go for Gwen.

I don't want her to think I'm not there for her even if it was my first instinct to bail.

I am a fighter by nature; I have no problem fighting with Courtney, but only if I have to. I'm tired of having to explain myself all the time to the public and being forced into another confrontation with her.

It's here I start to realize the real repercussions of being in a love triangle on live TV, and as much as I love Gwen I start to regret doing the show in the first place. It's never going to end, even with this interview. Chris found his perfect cast and is willing to use us up for everything we have, with this brand new relationship I'm in, I've ultimately screwed myself to being dragged back into this reality show bullshit.

There can only be one of two ways this can end for me and Gwen. Either the experience and ridicule make us stronger or it completely tears us apart. It happened with me and Courtney, it could easily happen again.

**Gwen POV**

I can't stand being here right now, the camera crew, the interviewers, the fans outside, being attached to microphones and making sure the lighting and angles are all correct. All this to further exploit us and make a mockery of us.

The only thing that makes some of this bearable is seeing the old crew. Leshawna is still the same vivacious and outspoken girl she was before, Bridgette and Geoff are still connected at the face, Heather is still a manipulative bitch.

The only thing that's different is that I'm with Duncan and Courtney's with Trent, and it's all everyone can talk about.

"Girl, I'm still really confused, how it came to you and Courtney ending up with each other's boyfriends?" asked Leshawna trying to grasp the situation.

"I know it seems strange," I replied wondering if Duncan was being interrogated as well. Figures they would separate the girls from the guys.

"It's more than strange," Leshawna commented.

"It's freaking bizarre," Heather says walking up behind us with a pound of make-up on her face. "I mean is this the same reality show, or are we on wife-swap or something?"

I grit my teeth annoyed. "First off, no one asked you Heather, and all of this happened off the show, we didn't mean for it to happen."

Heather grinned evilly at me. "If I were Courtney, I would be so pissed at you."

Leshawna looked at her as though she were stupid. "Why? Courtney's with Trent now, she should be over it by now."

Heather flips her hair and looked at us skeptically. "Even if that's true, it still looks as though Gwen had her eyes on Duncan all along, after she claimed not to like him that way, it makes her look like a liar and a boyfriend stealer."

My stomach sank. Heather may have a point, Chris was going to put me on the spot and try to make me look like the bad guy for the sake of television. My heart began to beat hard.

Leshawna put a supportive hand on my shoulder. "Gwen don't freak, just be honest and I'm sure everyone will understand."

Right as she said that Courtney walked in and found her seat to be set up for the interview. This had the potential to turn ugly.

I didn't want to think if Courtney still resented me for being with Duncan. I didn't want Duncan and Trent getting into a fight. I wish I had foreseen a lot of this and gone about it differently.

Another thought crosses my mind and I wonder what it would be like if I was still with Trent. How much all the faithful fans to our relationship would be wondering when we moved in together, when we would get married, if we would ever have kids.

Even though I'm with Duncan I still wonder about that myself. It had once seemed possible, with Duncan I don't know if he'd be willing to do all that. We've always been in the present that our future never seemed to come up. What was it going to be after this?

I excuse myself to the bathroom feeling like I'm about to throw up. This is the part Trent would've told me to breathe , smile and remember it's all going to be ok.

_Men know their worth, and as women we need to know ours_

_Catya "Bad Girls Club"_


	15. Chapter 14: Try

Chapter 14: Try

Funny how the heart can be deceiving

More than just a couple times

Why do we fall in love so easy?

Even when it's not right

**Courtney POV**

Being here among all these people who hate me is so uncomfortable. You always think its fine to a point because it's all just a game, it's nothing personal, and when it's all said and done you'll never see these people again.

It's never that simple or easy. You grow attached, you fall in love, and you become angered by all the betrayals and opposing sides. To be dragged back here and be asked by some TV host (who made your life hell) how your life is going now and what you're up to is demeaning.

Yet the irony is that you signed up for it all, you asked for it, and now the world gets to watch you at your best and worst.

My stomach twists and turns at the thought of sitting down with Duncan about all the craziness of what has happened between us all. I know Chris will be dying to ask how it all came to this and what it is I feel.

What I feel is confusion. How can I answer anything truthfully when I don't even know what the answers are? When I already feel like I'm leading Trent on and he has no idea how I really feel?

"It's time," one of the producers says to me as I'm staring dumbly at the mirror. They want to see me with Duncan first.

_Here we go…_

Chris hasn't changed, still the big ego and slimy attitude that makes him the perfect host.

"I'm sitting here with what** use** to be, a fan favorite relationship of good girl and bad boy. It should come as no surprise that Duncan and Courtney have always had their ups and downs, but it's to my understanding that these two are no longer together." Chris turns to us eagerly. "Do either of you care to explain?"

Duncan and I are sat awkwardly on a small sofa next to each other. Duncan is trying to be cool, but I can tell he's agitated and doesn't feel like talking, so I decided to take over.

"Well… it's kind of like you said Chris. Duncan and I do have a lot of ups and downs, and I think it just kind of got to a point where we were both tired of the drama and decided to move on."

Duncan looks at me a bit surprised and nods at Chris for conformation.

"Forgive me for saying this Courtney, but I think you are completely bullshitting me," Chris says with his mocking laughter.

I bite the inside of my cheek trying not to lose my composure. Duncan gently kicks my foot to help me cool down. I'm glad he's at least on my side for this interview. "I wish there was more to it Chris, but there really isn't."

"So the fact that Duncan hooked up with Gwen right after your so called "mutual" break up doesn't bother you at all?" Chris asked sneakily.

"Um…" My words caught in my throat and I had to remind myself to watch what I said. I really didn't want to make this a big deal, I didn't want to give Chris what he wanted.

"I mean it surprised me a little, but we weren't together at the time so it's not like I can hold him accountable for his actions or who he fell in love with," I say all this with my head down so I won't have to look at Duncan. It still hurt thinking of the day he told me he wanted to see other people, primarily Gwen.

"Yeah, but again, this isn't just anyone. This is Gwen, someone you suspected Duncan of having feeling for when you two were together," interjected Chris.

Again my words get caught in my throat. This time Duncan steps in and saves me from shooting myself in the foot. "I do want to make it clear that I never pursued Gwen while I was still with Courtney. We were only friends, and after the break-up it was Gwen who made me feel better and made me feel comfortable about entering another relationship."

I lick my lips nervously and wait for Chris to ask another question. "So are you saying it's easier to be with Gwen than it is to be with Courtney?"

Tricky bastard.

He obviously wanted to see me and Duncan get into one of our arguments we were so famous for. Again Duncan saves me.

**Duncan POV**

"Any relationship is going to be difficult," I say to Chris getting more and more irritated. Was it difficult being with Courtney? Yes… but that doesn't mean she deserves to be made out like the worst girlfriend in the world. "Courtney is a good person, I don't have any resentment or anger towards her."

Chris looks back at Courtney smugly. "Does Courtney feel the same way? I find it hard to imagine that she wouldn't harbor any negative feelings towards you what so ever."

I would find it hard to believe as well, Courtney is very good at holding a grudge. This time I decide not to answer for her.

Courtney finally sits up a little taller this time and looks Chris square in the eye. "I don't have time to worry about what it is I feel or don't feel for Duncan. I'm with Trent now."

Chris's face brightens up and I can tell he's going in for the kill. "Yes I heard about that, did you hook up with Trent to get back at Duncan for hooking up with Gwen?"

I kick Courtney harder this time because I immediately notice her roll up her fist and preparing to launch up from the couch. She breathes in deeply before letting out a small stifled laugh. "No Chris, I hooked up with Trent because I genuinely wanted to. He's a wonderful boyfriend and I'm happy to be with him."

If I wasn't uncomfortable before, I am now. It's weird hearing your ex talk about her current boyfriend.

Chris wasn't about to let up though. "Are you in love with Trent?"

I look over at Courtney curious about that question myself. When I see her struggle to answer, I can't help but look at her completely confused. I would think by now she'd be completely head over heels for him. Chris and I wait patiently for her to answer and she looks at the both of us as though we just put a gun to her head.

"I- I…. I don't see if that's any of your business."

Really? That was unexpected. I was getting ready for her to declare her love and how much better he was than me. Now I am really confused. Was there something not right between them? It's hard to imagine Trent not being able to make her happy, then again I'm not much better.

I look back to Chris and shrug my shoulders at him. Neither of us was willing to say anything else

"Ok no offense, but you two are boring me to death," Chris says greatly disappointed.

"None taken," I snap.

"Let's see if we can't get a little more action from our second most popular ex couple, Gwen and Trent!" Chris says into the camera dramatically. "Ok cut, onto the next one."

Chris doesn't even say good bye to us as he leaves me and Courtney by ourselves in the room. I start thinking of leaving myself.

"Some update that was," Courtney complained suddenly breaking the silence. "I didn't even get a chance to brag about getting into the top university in this country and how I plan to sue his ass off."

I smirk amused and say "Congratulations." She always wanted to be a lawyer and I can't help but feel happy for her. I wanted to wish her luck in the pursuit of trying to sue Chris, but I didn't think it was a good idea encouraging Courtney's vengeful side.

"Don't suppose anything new is going on in your life," she asked trying to make conversation.

"Not really," I answer. 'Just living off my millions till something else comes along."

Courtney rolls her eyes but smiles all the same. "Same old, same old." Courtney squeezes her eyes close and says, "I hope Gwen and Trent handle Chris's interrogation better than we did."

"I think we did pretty good actually," I say proudly.

Courtney seems less than convinced, I'm sure she was replaying the whole conversation in her head, looking for any mistakes she might've made.

"I wish he wouldn't have asked me that question," she practically whispers to herself shaking her head.

At first I'm not sure which one she means till I remember the one she technically didn't answer.

I know I'm out if place for asking but I decide to ask anyway. "Are you not in love with him?"

I expect her to say it's none of my business and storm out, instead she looks up at me sadly and answers "I don't know."

Again it goes quiet, I should just leave but I'll feel like a total jackass if I just leave her here. Finally she speaks tentatively. "How did you know when you fell in love with Gwen?"

Her question nearly knocks me off my feet and for a while I debate whether I should answer or not, but I can tell she's longing for a answer from me and decide we're at a point where I can answer without us being weird about it.

"I guess…"

Wait was I even in love with Gwen yet? I never really felt the pressure to say it to her, nor have I given it much thought since everything between us has been so nice and casual.

"You know Court, I think I might be in the same vote as you."

She looks at me surprised. "Really? But you two seem so happy together."

"Well we are," I say defensively. "But why rush everything? You're happy with Trent regardless right?"

She nods at me and adds, "Well yeah, but don't you ever feel…" She struggles to find the words and looks at me helplessly.

I look at her impatiently and tell her to spit it out. "Don't you feel like you shouldn't have to try so hard to feel that desire, like it should be easy like it was the first time? Like even though it hurt so much the first time you want so badly to feel that kind of love again"

I think back to how easy it was to make up my mind about wanting Courtney and how I knew immediately when I was actually in love with her, but this isn't the same kind of situation. I always knew how much she loved me, she told me enough, but I think I had always left her wondering; now she was probably unsure of a lot of things when it came to men and I was mostly to blame.

"Well it's a lot more fucking complicated now," I say a little mad she brought this whole personal dilemma up. "But that still doesn't mean it won't happen." I wish I could be more reassuring, but it's not like I can make any promises for either of us.

Courtney runs her fingers through her hair tiredly and rises to leave, before she opens the door though I decided to tell her one last thing. "Just so you know, I meant everything I said in the interview."

I know there is some resentment in her for hooking up with Gwen, especially when we were only meant to be on a break and not a full out break up. I know I hurt her bad, but I honestly never meant to.

Courtney looks back at me one last time before replying, "I know."

I don't know why, but when she walks out I feel a strong urge to call her back.

**Trent POV**

Chris comes into the room with a camera man and a big sadistic smile on his face, Gwen gives me and anxious look and we both know we're back in the hot seat.

Chris chuckles once before directing the camera man to aim the lights at us, introducing us and adding on, "We saw them break up on live national TV and now off the cameras, they have hooked up with each other's exes."

"Oh god," Gwen whispers under her breath readjusting herself.

I want to reach over and squeeze her hand or something, but things are already awkward enough especially with Chris trying to embarrass us.

"Trent and Gwen, how did it go from the two of you being so pathetically in love with each other to seeking out each other's exes?"

Gwen and I look back and forth at each other trying to figure out something to say.

Gwen finally gives it a try and stutters out, "I don't know, it's not like anyone was intentionally trying to hook up with the ex of their ex."

Chris raises an eyebrow and looks at me for conformation, I don't answer fast enough for Chris though. "See that's the trouble I'm having with this situation, everyone keeps saying it wasn't intentional and that you all had the best of intentions, but no one is really saying what's going on."

"What exactly do you think is going on?" I ask Chris not sure where this conversation is going.

"I believe there's a lot of unfinished business between the four of you, I mean Trent you were suspicious of Duncan trying to make a move on Gwen and then as soon as all the break-ups happen, they hook up. You're not a little bit angry about that?"

My mouth goes dry thinking about Total Drama Action and how much time and conversation Duncan made with Gwen and the laid back jokes and light flirting. Yeah it had made me mad and jealous to the point of acting like a crazy maniac.

"I guess I was upset at the time, but it's not like I can tell her who to see and not see," I look at Gwen who looks back at me thoughtfully. I know she's thinking of those days on total Drama Action too.

"Uh-huh," says Chris already getting bored. "Gwen would you have stayed with Trent had he not gotten so weird during the show?"

Gwen looks at Chris a bit surprised. I don't really blame her, it's a slightly inappropriate question. "Um… I really don't know Chris. I think if its not meant to be it's just not meant to be," she says shrugging her shoulders.

I try to nod in agreement, acting as though I'm cool with her answer, but honestly her statement hurt my feelings.

"But if that were true, wouldn't you have hooked up with Duncan in the first place?" Chris asks slyly.

Again Gwen looks at Chris speechless and just laughs nervously. "I don't think that's a fair question, I wasn't even on the same team with him for the first season," says Gwen defensively.

"I don't think that's a good excuse Gwen, considering you went out of your way to get to know Duncan on season two, despite the fact that you were both with other people."

Gwen's face turns red and her jaw drops. "I did not go out of my way- that is not- you are such a-'' Gwen crosses her arms over herself angrily and clutches her jaw shut.

I wanted to tell Chris he was being unfair, but it's hard to do that when that was exactly how I felt during Total Drama. I finally clear my throat and decide its best to talk honestly, maybe then Chris would stop grilling us and just let the whole thing go.

"Here's what I will say about the situation, the fact that of all people she hooked up with Duncan..." I tell Chris getting serious. "Yeah it hurt my feelings, and the hardest part for me was accepting that things between us weren't going to work out after all, and I guess the only thing I have the hardest time getting over is why she chose Duncan."

Chris finally gets excited at my honesty and quickly turns on Gwen who is looking at me as though I just betrayed her. "That is a valid point Trent," says Chris. "Why did you choose to be with Duncan Gwen?"

**Gwen POV**

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

My stomach is in knots, I feel like I'm hyperventilating, my head is throbbing and I'm hot from being so damn pissed at Chris. There is no way this is going even worse than I thought it would. First I'm being attacked by Chris for being an awful girlfriend, then all of a sudden Trent is wanting an explanation from me for being with Duncan.

How the hell do you even answer a question like that? I'm sure by now my face looks like a terrified mess on the camera and I seem like a deer caught in the headlights.

My mouth goes dry and I avoid looking at the camera all together, I can't even stand to look at Trent or Chris anymore. I'm so upset I honestly consider walking out of the room, why should I explain myself to Trent or to the public? However I figured if I give some form of answer it would stop people from badgering me constantly about it.

Still keeping my eyes on the floor I simply answer, "I didn't _choose _to be with Duncan, I fell in love. He started as my friend and I started to feel more for him and I decided it was worth pursuing."

Chris nods approvingly and asks me yet another uncomfortable question. "Were you in love with Trent?"

I scoff getting even more pissed off. "How can you even ask me something like that?"

"Well did you? 'Cause from my perspective it seems like you went about breaking up with him very easily."

I look at Trent and realize he is also waiting for an answer. How can he not be sure about my feelings back then, it wasn't like I really wanted to break up. "Trent come on! This is absurd, I cared very deeply for you."

Trent looked at me very seriously and said, "I know you cared about me, and you know I loved you and wanted to be with you, but did you **love **me?"

His behavior on the show had driven me crazy, I wanted to be away from him, I had wanted to be with Duncan, I had wanted out of the whole mess.

I get so incredibly frustrated and feel so backed into a corner that the first thing that snaps out of my mouth is a very angry and loud "I don't know!"

As soon as I say it Trent looks at me in a weird moment of realization and disappointment and a wave of sadness and guilt flies over me that my hand sweeps over my mouth and I shake with shock over what I had just said.

I can't believe I just said such a thing and I can't believe its all been caught on camera, I had been so in the moment of confrontation with Trent I had actually forgotten Chris and the camera were there.

Now I was the bad guy, the fans had every right to feel betrayed. It had seem like such a good romance on TV and yet here I was saying that I never really did commit and pledge a love for Trent. I was just the heart-breaker.

I fall deep into my seat and feel the tears start to form, I am so embarrassed and ashamed.

For the first time its Chris who becomes uncomfortable and decides to cut it short. "Uh… ok I think that's all we need." He tells the camera man to cut and he leaves me crying on the couch and Trent in serious thought and anger next to me.

_Chase: What do you miss the most?_

_Cameron: I miss a lot of things, but when I think about missing you, I think of that dance class we took before the wedding. It's weird, but I think to myself, my god he's never going to hold me like that again._

_-House MD_


End file.
